SEMO could cook up sausage mascot

It's hard going through life as a sausage.

Just ask Mandy Block, Wisconsin's most famous sausage gal.

She was wearing an Italian sausage costume when she was hit with a bat by then Pittsburgh Pirates first baseman Randall Simon last July.

As a result of her ordeal, she received a certificate of bravery from the National Hot Dog and Sausage Council.

"I'm proud of it. I didn't even know there was a hot dog council," the Associated Press quoted her as saying.

You've got to like such honesty.

Mandy won't be in the Milwaukee Brewers' sausage races this summer. She has retired from such serious racing to take psychology classes at the University of Wisconsin.

Southeast Missouri State University officials might want to take note.

In the school's rush to dump the Indian nickname and find a suitable mascot, no one has taken a serious look at the sausage moniker.

But clearly here's a chance to get a sizzling mascot.

In exchange for free psychology classes, I'm sure Southeast could convince Mandy to enroll here and bring along that sausage outfit.

This clearly would be a marketing coup for the university. Even a famous sports announcer like Bob Costas might be compelled to mention it on national television.

The sausage industry probably would hold an open house here or endow a sausage marketing chair in the business college.

Sooner or later, Southeast would end up dressing up area children in baby sausage outfits for halftime promotions that are sure to draw a crowd, particularly all those proud parents.

Tailgating would take on a whole new meaning if the university had a sausage as a mascot.

More importantly, the NCAA wouldn't find sausage offensive to any ethnic group -- although it might upset the rice-cake-watch-my-weight crowd.

The university, in an effort to promote good will, could set up dieting classes for anyone offended by the sausage.

Children, in particular, could relate to a sausage mascot.

I know my children, Becca and Bailey, love a good sausage. Bailey has been known to pour syrup on her sausage for added flavor.

They surely could be convinced it's worth rooting for a team bearing such a tasty name, although admittedly both girls probably would make it their second choice.

Bailey's first culinary delight is cheese pizza and Becca's is chicken fingers. But I'm sure they would rather root for a sausage than brussels sprout.

Mandy, no doubt, would find it enjoyable to move to a place where people appreciate a good racing sausage. No bets, please.

I can understand she might want to stay away from baseball. But that's OK. The university really only needs a mascot for football and basketball games.

The 20-year-old ran only one race after she was hit by the bat last summer. The rest of the baseball season she shot T-shirts into the Miller Park box seats and worked as a ball girl.

Ouch. Talk about a psychological letdown.

Dressing up as a sausage again could restore her confidence and demonstrate once and for all that Southeast Missouri State University fans appreciate quality meat.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.