Presidential politics needs more mascots

A lot of people think politics is boring. But then they've never seen the Waffle Man.

The Bush-Cheney campaign has been pulling out all the stops in the battleground state of Missouri.

Last week, the campaign came to Denny's restaurant in Cape Girardeau. The campaign stop for the Republican Party faithful featured a guy dressed up in a square waffle suit, but no butter or syrup.

It was more of a barbecue than a breakfast with the party faithful focused on skewering Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry for "waffling" on the issues.

Peter Kinder, Missouri Senate president pro tem, was the featured speaker. But I'm sure even he would admit it's not easy competing with a guy dressed up in a waffle suit.

Those who crowded into a back room in the restaurant had to buy their own breakfast. The Waffle Man wasn't opening his pocketbook.

Personally, I think politics is much more exciting when you involve a mascot. National issues can be complex. Voters don't want to analyze them. Political mascots would eliminate the whole problem and reduce presidential politics to the most important question of all: Who can sport the best costume?

The whole mascot issue is one reason why Americans are intrigued by the Budweiser donkey, the star of those beer commercials on television.

Of course, I'm sure it's illegal to vote for a donkey for president even if he does look great on TV. After all, it wouldn't be very presidential to have the leader of this great nation braying all the time.

Still, I think the Bush-Cheney campaign was wise to settle on a mascot.

The great thing about a waffle mascot is that it can't be confused with all those lions, tigers and bears roaming the sidelines at football and basketball games.

It's too bad the Waffle Man didn't come to our river city a few weeks sooner. Maybe then Southeast Missouri State University would have taken a serious look at the waffle as its new mascot, replacing its traditional Indian nickname.

But that didn't happen so we're stuck with Redhawks unless the regents want to take a second look at this whole issue.

Personally, a mascot representing a good solid American breakfast meal sounds like a good idea. Even fans of opposing teams would be hard pressed to find anything negative to say about a waffle.

The Boosters Club could cook up some waffles at its tailgate parties prior to football games. And one thing's for certain: Fans would never go away hungry.

As for Kerry, he needs to adopt a mascot campaign weapon too. Maybe he could take a cracked egg on the road. If you're going to attend all those political breakfasts, you might as well hang out with a popular breakfast food mascot.

Both Kerry and Bush, however, need to choose a mascot more carefully than they do vice presidential running mates.

Some foods don't make good mascots. Grits, for example, may be popular in the South but nationwide most Americans won't hitch their future to presidential candidates who campaign with a grits mascot.

And there's nothing wrong with a salad bar.

Politicians probably would prefer an all-you-can-eat buffet as a mascot. That way they can appeal to everyone.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.