Offering hair advice just isn't my style

As a columnist, I know I won't make every reader happy.

The other day, a woman called and left a message on a co-worker's phone. She complained at length about my column. She was particularly annoyed because, she said, my column "doesn't help people."

She suggested the space could better be filled by an advice column. The woman said she'd rather read about advice on how to properly maintain or style hair than read about the antics of my children.

Well, I admit I'm no hairdresser. I don't have a clue about some of the current hair styles. But as a parent, I do have some understanding about hair.

Some years ago, you may remember, I wrote about my younger daughter, Bailey, who managed to give herself a trim. I was too busy watching an NFL playoff game at the time to even notice that she had cut her hair.

My wife, Joni, admonished me for not doing a better job of parenting. But I never figured she'd cut her own hair. I think Joni was more worried about our daughter brandishing scissors than the actual hair cut.

But I concede I should have done a better job of hair monitoring.

As a dad, I don't pretend to be an expert on hair. But I know that it's a pain when your children get gum in their hair. Getting out gum can often require some emergency hair cutting.

Even at age 11, Bailey has a sensitive scalp.

When Joni combs through Bailey's thick red hair, it often brings tears to our daughter's eyes. And that's even after Bailey has washed her hair.

Joni sympathizes with Bailey's predicament. After all, Joni has a sensitive scalp, too.

On the other hand, I have a tough scalp. I can take a little hair pulling. It's not a tragedy to me.

But I do feel sorry that Bailey has to endure such a painful ordeal just to brush her hair.

I've suggested tongue in cheek that she should just shave her head and wear a wig. Bailey, of course, doesn't appreciate me making light of her plight.

Even at her age, Bailey knows a thing or two about hair, like how to put her hair up in a bun when she's playing soccer or basketball.

She's also mastered the art of wrapping a towel around her hair after she gets out of the shower. It's clearly a fashion statement with her. It also puts off brushing her hair for at least a few minutes.

My advice is always to wash and comb or brush your hair. And use hair spray. There's little reason to have your hair blowing in the wind.

Of course, you don't want a solid-hold hair spray when you're an NFL cheerleader or a Southeast Missouri State University Sundancer. Those girls typically have long hair that they can flip when they do their cheers or dance steps.

Even boys have a fascination with hair. In elementary school, boys can't resist getting their hair spray-painted bright orange or some other vibrant color during end-of-school Play Day.

Some guys sport mohawks. Others go for the bald look. Of course, some men have no choice in the matter. Their bald looks just come naturally.

Some of my friends are amazed that given my age I still have a full head of hair and that it hasn't started turning gray.

I credit it to genetics. My dad had a healthy head of hair most of his life.

As for haircuts, I don't have a sophisticated style. When I go get my hair cut, I don't ask for anything complicated. "Just a little off here and a little off there," I tell the woman cutting my hair.

I'm not looking for pomp and circumstance, not when it comes to my hair.

And at least for now, no one in my family has accused me of embarrassing them with a bad hairdo. As a dad, that's all you can ask.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.