MARK MY WORD: WORDS CAN KEEP THE ECONOMY STRUGGLING

The economy is harder to predict than a 2-year-old, and even more difficult to understand.

Sometimes it is front-page news, and on other occasions it barely rates a mention next to the ads for dog food, which, of course, help fuel our economy.

The World Book Encyclopedia includes a whole section on economics. "Most people want more than they can afford to buy," the section starts out.

Personally, I thought that's why man invented credit cards. With plenty of credit cards, you can bypass Economics 101 entirely.

No one really knows economists. They reportedly work in banks and government offices. Every now and then, one is quoted in the newspaper and on television.

Economists talk about productivity and major goods like refrigerators and washing machines. They don't talk about good movies or the best video games, which is why most Americans can't relate to them.

For political candidates who are running against incumbents, the economy is always in bad shape and in need of revitalization, a big word that stands for Elect Me.

Business writers have it the best: They get to use all sorts of interesting words when talking about the economy.

Stocks often finish mixed. You don't find too much else in life that finishes mixed, other than drinks and theatrical reviews.

Economic news is never just bad, it's grim. The economy can take a nose dive and the stock market can crash.

But unlike airline crashes, you won't find any paramedics on the scene. And when the economy crashes, there is no black box to recover to find out what went wrong.

So business writers have to quote economists, which is generally boring, or string together a whole bunch of colorful adjectives and verbs that would make Dr. Seuss proud.

The economy often resembles a bird, soaring and plunging with abandon. Perhaps it ought to be kept in the zoo, where everyone could see it.

Then there is that Dow Jones guy who is forever being watched. The Dow Jones average finished last week within "shouting distance of 4,000," The Associated Press reported.

Personally, shouting seems a little bit old fashioned. Hasn't Jones ever heard of using the telephone or a fax machine?

In economics, there are always a bunch of indexes to watch.

There was considerable worry in the stock market last week over one of the indexes. You don't need to know which one.

The important thing is that the stocks were worried. That, in turn, worries investors.

In our nation's economy, there is always something to worry about. Of course, this boosts aspirin sales, which, in turn, helps fuel our economy.

There is always the danger, however, that the economic fire will get out of control, leaving the economy in ruins and business reporters scrambling for some new verbs.

The trouble with the economy is that it is difficult to tell when it is good and when it is bad, even for economists. It's not like a football game where you can see the final score.

That being the case, you might as well skip Econ 101 and study English instead. All it takes is a few well-placed verbs to keep the economy chugging along.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.