MARK MY WORD: THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL WILL HAVE TO WAIT

In the world of children's books, Mr. Brown can moo and so can you.

I'm never going to write the great American novel. All journalists, I suspect, dream about writing the great American novel. But parenthood, changes things.

As the father of pre-school children, I no longer think in big words unless, of course, they are silly, rhyming words like those thought up by Dr. Seuss.

I love to read. When I was growing up, my mom would take the family to the library every Saturday to check out a whole stack of books.

I still like to read a good book, but it's tough to find time to do it unless you send your children packing to grandma's for the weekend.

Of course, as is the case with most parents, I still do plenty of reading. You can read five or six children's books in no time. It's the subsequent 500 readings that take up the evening until you can get the children to bed.

I used to read a lot to Becca. But at 5 years of age, she is too busy to sit still for long. The same holds true for 16-month-old Bailey, who quite literally would tear through books if mom and dad weren't around.

I often start a reading children's book only to discover halfway through that I've lost my audience to a Barbie tea party. It's tough to compete with those Barbie babes.

When that happens, I just keep on reading.

The best thing about children's books is they have plenty of pictures. This takes all the pressure off of dad when it comes to literary entertainment. You don't have to act out everything, you can show them the pictures instead.

That also helps when your kids want you to give them the abbreviated version of the story too. As long as you read the first page and last page, things are just fine.

All you single folks out there don't know what you are missing.

In children's books you learn that it isn't nice to tease a weasel, but it's OK to give a moose some juice to sip on in the shade.

There's also plenty of pigs in these books. There are pigs in tutus, pigs in kilts, pigs on skateboards, pigs on stilts.

"Take it slowly, this book is dangerous," is the warning at the front of one Dr. Seuss book. Being a brave person, I read on.

There aren't a lot of words in Dr. Seuss books, just the same words, but in varying formations. Socks on Knox and Knox in box. Fox in socks on box on Knox. Try reading that over and over after a long day at the office. Dr. Seuss can tie up your tongue like a trick-rope artist and before you know it, he's telling the kids to hop on pop.

In the world of children's books, Mr. Brown can moo and so can you.

Even the alphabet has a story. H is tangled up with I. J and K are about to cry. L is knotted like a tie. It's a story like this that gives parents an excuse to say "Chicka, Chicka, Boom, Boom" as they perform household chores.

The Postal Service gets a lot of bad press. But in children's literature, the jolly postman brightens up everyone's day, including Little Red Riding Hood.

He even has a pie. Farewell, take care, bye-bye.

Of course, Becca loves any books that have her name in it. Forget the verbs. Rebecca or Becca are just fine with her.

Moms have favorite books too. Joni likes "Yertle the Turtle." She's had the book since she was a kid. The cover is worn and held together by masking tape. But that doesn't matter to her.

Yertle the Turtle might be king of the pond, but pigs galore are just fine with Becca and Bailey.

We still aren't sure about one thing, though. Are there seals in the sandbox?

Oh, no!

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.