MARK MY WORD: SOME SCIENTISTS ARE TOO WRAPPED UP IN THEIR WORK -- LITERALLY

Sto p the presses. There's been another scientific breakthrough.

Two scientists have figured out why candy wrappers are so noisy when opened in a movie theater.

The sound is caused by the pops and clicks as creases in the packaging material are pulled apart. You can't do much to mask the noise, the scientists say.

Opening the wrapper slowly only prolongs the noise. The science guys say it is best to get it over with quickly.

Of course, it would be a whole lot less of a nuisance if theatergoers just ate a bucket of popcorn.

The new study was done by Simon's Rock College physicist Eric Kramer who had too much time on his hands in Great Barrington, Mass., and clearly was desperate for a National Science Foundation grant.

At any rate, he teamed up with Alexander Lokovsky of the National Institute of Standards and Technology in Maryland.

As part of their research, no doubt, they attended a zillion movies and ate tons of candy. What else are you going to do after you ripped open all those candy wrappers?

Besides, it is a whole lot more enjoyable than sitting under a tree and letting an apple hit you in the head over and over again, all in the name of science so you could discover the Law of Gravity.

Personally, I think it's great we live in a country where inquiring minds want to know about candy wrappers.

Children, however, could care less about candy wrappers. It's what's inside that counts with them.

Becca and Bailey don't believe in slowing opening the wrapper. Becca has perfected the rip-and-eat approach, an important skill for an 8-year-old.

Bailey, who is 4, still hasn't reached the ripper stage when it comes to some treats. The other day I found her armed in the kitchen with a small pair of scissors, which she used to carefully cut away a wrapper on a Rice Krispies Treat.

Candy has a way of mysteriously disappearing at our house. I seldom see the children grabbing the candy, but I always find the empty wrappers, left behind like bread crumbs on a trail.

Of course, I'm not opposed to the wrapper noise. Parents are attuned to the sound. I can hear it all the way in the basement. "No candy before dinner," I call out to our unseen children.

As parents, we would be lost without that noise. If scientists ever figure out how to make silent wrappers, our "no candy" warnings will all but disappear.

So I hope that scientists will turn their attention away from candy wrappers and let us all enjoy the movie. Maybe they could focus on some really important thing like pond scum, which, as far as I know, doesn't make a bit of noise.

Of course, you won't find it in most movie theaters, not even in the concession line.

But such is life. Sometimes, in the name of science, you have to take a chance.

Take those two 12-year-old boys in Michigan. The Associated Press reported the other day that they built a 4 1/2 foot tall hot air balloon for their sixth-grade science project.

The hot air came from 35 birthday candles attached to a balsa-wood frame.

"We had four or five failures before we got this one to work," one of the boys was quoted as saying.

If the plastic was too thick, it wouldn't float; too thin, it would melt.

The boys ended up melting two sections of a plastic tablecloth together, which proved to be a far cheaper experiment than having to pay for all that movie-theater candy.

At least, the boys knew their experiment was full of hot air. The professional scientists obviously didn't.

Clearly, they were too wrapped up in their work.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.