MARK MY WORD: RUB-A-DUB-DUB, WHAT'S WRONG WITH SOAP IN THE TUB?

As Tufts University geneticist Stuart Levy sees it, Americans are obsessively clean, coating everything with anti-bacterial soaps and chemicals.

Stuart thinks all that scrubbing has weakened our immune system, killing helpful germs and spurring the growth of mutant bacteria that threatens to wreak havoc on our world. Where's Superman when you need him?

To hear Stuart talk, all that bacteria is good for you. It strengthens our bodies' defenses, which helps ward off germs.

He thinks we'd all be better off if we got a little dirty.

That may be good news to America's kids and political candidates.

But don't tell that to parents who have worked hard to get their kids to wash up.

Bath time is a cherished part of parenting. There's nothing like getting hugged by your towel-wearing, wet haired child fresh from a bath.

Splash time can be spectacular in terms of family bonding. It also requires a good supply of towels.

Of course, children aren't born with a love of baths. For that matter, man wasn't born a bather. It took centuries to get mankind to wash behind the ears and then only after a lot of nagging from the world's mothers.

Indoor plumbing has helped a lot. It was tough to get excited about a dip in a barrel of cold water, particularly in the dead of winter.

Bathing was once reserved for the rich and famous. Bathing was big with the Romans.

But by the Middle Ages, it had declined as a spectator sport. People just weren't interested in "stewing" as it was called.

By the 1400s, prostitution had taken over the public bathhouses. Church and government officials passed laws forbidding public bathing, much to the delight of children everywhere.

People seldom bathed at home either. They used paint and powder to hide dirt and perfume to mask body odor. The best ones became rock stars.

The Puritans didn't like bath time. They saw it as leading to sinful behavior like singing in the shower.

But bathing soon caught on with Americans who figured they had a constitutional right to cleanliness or at least some good hand soap.

American millionaire George Vanderbilt is believed to have had the first modern bathroom in 1855.

But it wasn't until mankind came up with the rubber ducky that it became lots of fun.

But not everybody has bought into the "lots of fun" concept.

Our daughter, Becca, doesn't like baths. This kind of news about the need for dirt would only reinforce her belief that bathing is bad or, at the very least, reserved for special occasions.

Our younger daughter, Bailey, doesn't mind a bath, although she would just as soon not get her hair washed.

As parents see it, frequent bathing is essential. How else are you going to get all that gum, candy and other assorted sticky stuff off your kids?

Childhood is clearly a sticky situation. But it would be far worse without all those bubble baths and soap products at our disposal.

None of this clean living has rubbed off on some political candidates. But most of us are better off because of some committed cleaning.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.