MARK MY WORD: REAL MOTHERS COME WITH WARM FUZZIES AND SHOPPING SKILLS

It's not easy being Mom.

There's meals to cook, school lunches to pack, and children's clothes to buy, not to mention serving as family taxi driver. And that's just Monday's chores.

As a dad, I confess I'm amazed at the abilities of moms to juggle all those tasks without once passing out.

Of course, moms have a built-in knack of being able to concentrate on more than one task at the same time. Dads aren't born with that ability.

That's why we don't hear our kids yelling for us while we're glued to the TV set, watching the hockey playoffs on ESPN.

Moms, on the other hand, instantly hear the pitter-patter of little feet. Of course in our house it's more like a thumpity-thump, which is clearly discernible even over the din of the hockey game.

Like all moms, Joni has eyes in the back of her head. This allows her to see what is going on without even turning around.

When she goes shopping, she often takes Becca and Bailey along. The kids already know the importance of a half-off sale.

Still, I have to plan for an outing with the kids. With me, it's less spontaneous. It's more like preparing for a military invasion.

My motto is to be prepared for life's outings. That means you have to carry enough money to treat the kids to ice cream so they'll forget about all those toys on sale at that major toy store they love to visit.

Of course, moms often feel like the Rodney Dangerfield of the home, except they get more hugs.

If you had to hire someone to do a mother's job, it would cost a fortune.

That may be what Charles Low, the 32-year-old CEO of a dot-com start-up company in Los Angeles, had in mind when he decided to "sell" his mother over the Internet.

The highest bidder will get the benefit of his mother's advice at least twice a month for three months.

Late last week, the bidding for Marilyn Low had reached $50, with 22 bids placed at www.surpluzz.com. Personally, I thought the bidding would have gone higher. After all, it's tough to find a mother on the Internet.

Marilyn went on the auction block Monday. The bidding ends tomorrow, the day after Mother's Day.

The three-month-old online auction company has yet to turn a profit, but I'm betting the price is right when it comes to landing the rent-a-mom.

To his credit, Charles Low doesn't plan to pocket the money. Fittingly, he plans to give the money to a charity that supports homeless children.

Of course, even Marilyn cautions against expecting too much from a rent-a-mom. "I hope some poor little soul isn't really serious about this and really needs tender loving care and fuzzy warmth," she told The Associated Press.

If you want that, you need your own mother.

Thankfully, Becca and Bailey know they can count on plenty of fuzzy warmth without ever getting under the comforter.

That's reason enough to celebrate Mother's Day.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.