MARK MY WORD: PARENTS TACKLE THE TERRORS OF TOOTHPASTE

There's nothing like a little toothpaste when it comes to cleaning teeth or redecorating your bathroom.

Our youngest daughter, Bailey, has fallen in love with toothpaste. When you're 2, it's tough to resist toothpaste.

With Bailey, it ranks right up there with her juice, buddy bear and pacifier.

When Joni and I aren't looking, Bailey will perch atop a plastic stool and grab the tube of toothpaste.

She has learned how to unscrew the cap. Within minutes, she has managed to smear the green toothpaste all over herself, the bathroom sink, diaper pail and wallpaper.

The toothpaste terrorist struck again Saturday, leaving the gooey, green stuff all over the bathroom.

I'm glad that Bailey is interested in oral hygiene. But I wish she would concentrate more on brushing her teeth rather than the walls.

She also sees very little need for a toothbrush. She prefers to use her fingers, creating an even bigger mess.

Bailey hasn't discovered dental floss yet. But it's only a matter of time before she hooks onto that teeth-cleaning method too.

Still, I doubt flossing will catch on with her like toothpaste has. Flossing just isn't messy enough.

Like a typical 2-year-old, Bailey is happy with the messy life.

She prefers to drip ice cream on her clothes rather than eat it. She loves to stand on a chair at the kitchen sink and play with the running water.

She fills the plastic cups and then dumps out the water. She repeats the process over and over again.

She regularly tries to clean up the water-logged kitchen counter but only after it has been turned into a lake.

Bailey attracts ketchup like a magnet pulls in paper clips. She isn't a ketchup fan, but her clothes seem to love the red stuff.

If the ketchup is on her plate, she is certain to get her sleeve in the stuff while the french fries remain out of harm's way.

Bailey has been known to get into mommy's makeup too. She comes away looking much like an Indian ready for a ceremonial dance.

It's enough to make parents want to go on the warpath.

But by the time you have cleaned up all the toothpaste, you smell too minty fresh to go to war with your children.

Instead, you comfort yourself with the thought that 2-year-olds do grow up. Besides, with any luck, your 2-year-old has eaten enough toothpaste to keep cavities at bay for a long time.

When they do grow up, they will be devoted to other things besides toothpaste. Candy, comes to mind.

Actually, both our daughters love chocolate candy. Valentine's Day was a feast for them.

Six-year-old Becca loves candy. She also likes watching figure skating.

Becca glided around our bedroom on imaginary skates as we watched Tara Lipinski's gold-medal performance on television.

I later learned that Lipinski had locked herself in a closet and tried to eat an entire chocolate Easter bunny when she was 3 years old.

If that's what it takes to be an Olympic champion, I'm convinced my children are on a path to glory.

I just hope that path isn't paved with too much toothpaste.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.