MARK MY WORD: ON THE ROLLER COASTER OF PARENTHOOD, SOMETIMES OK IS JUST GREAT

It's tough being a parent.

There's no operating manual or road map to raising good kids. You can't learn it in the classroom. Instead, you learn parenting skills on the run while you're hustling your kids off to school and day care, stocking up on diapers at the grocery store or making a mad dash through the toy store with your kids in tow.

While kids don't come with instructions in any language, everyone from the government to your mother-in-law has plenty of advice on how to raise them.

Parenting magazines are full of advice on everything from tantrums to age-appropriate toys, and how best to pat your baby to encourage those basic burps.

Parenting magazines even give you the words to popular lullabies. I'm convinced parents lose their minds, if not their entire heads, at a much faster rate than the rest of the adult population. So, it's only natural to have a total mental collapse when it comes to lullabies.

I'm surprised the government hasn't banned some of these lullabies because they celebrate terribly unsafe parenting practices. Take the "Hush, Little Baby" song, for example.

"Hush, little baby, don't say a word, papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird."

You've got enough to do as a new parent. You don't need a pet bird. Besides, you don't have to worry that your baby will say any word for awhile.

"And if that mockingbird won't sing, papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring."

What new parent could afford a diamond ring? Wouldn't diapers be more practical?

Joni says jewelry is perfect at any age. Perhaps that's a hint. Her birthday is just around the corner. I don't think she wants a mockingbird.

Then, there's that cart and bull thing.

"If that billy goat won't pull, papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull."

I don't know about you, but I don't think a cart and bull are appropriate play things for infants.

Of course, Joni and I are way beyond the lullaby stage. Our children prefer Barney songs and the video-taped tunes of Mary-Kate and Ashley.

In our home, the living room is center stage. Becca and Bailey perform there. Becca loves to dance to almost any music. She'll even perform without music. Bailey, approaching age 2, tries to dance as well. But she doesn't quite have the moves yet of her 5-year-old sister.

Center stage is cluttered at times with jump ropes, discarded clothes, toys, books and popcorn. But Becca and Bailey don't seem to mind the mess as they prepare to dance, proud as statues.

Bailey sheds clothes faster than a runway model; Becca loves to dress in leotards.

Becca is at the age where she collects words more than dolls. She has a plastic box where she puts index cards that have words on them and drawings of those words. Sleep, however, isn't one of her words.

She still hates to go to bed. Bailey is learning these late-night ways as well.

But then perhaps that's the way it should be. If anybody should get to go to bed early, it should be the parents. After all, you get exhausted from all those family taxi chores, as well as feeding, bathing and clothing your kids, picking up after them and cleaning up spills.

Parents could save a lot of time by just wrapping their children in paper towels. That way, they could just absorb all those spills.

Bailey is at the age where she regularly says "OK" and "all right" when we ask her to do something. Of course, that doesn't mean she always does what she's told. But, it's nice to hear the words.

Life would be a lot sweeter if everyone would say "OK" and "all right" more, and not leave their clothes on the floor.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.