MARK MY WORD: MR. BLACKWELL AND DRESSING DOWN

Thanks to Mr. Blackwell, we now know the top fashion flops of 2000.

Blackwell, a former fashion designer, recently unveiled his annual worst-dressed-women list.

And the winner is -- pop singer Britney Spears.

"Her bra-topped collection of Madonna rejects are pure fashion overkill," he notes.

Christina Aguilera comes in at number six on the list. "Is she a boring and body-baring bungle or just auditioning for 'Sheena, Queen of the Jungle?'" Blackwell asks in dressing down the singer.

Both singers have come a long way since they were in Disney's Mickey Mouse Club, although I doubt Mr. Blackwell would have liked those mouse ears either.

Naturally, our children like Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera.

"Are they twins?" Bailey asks as she looks at their CD covers.

Becca, in particular, loves their songs. To 8-year-olds, they're cultural icons. Becca loves to crank up the volume on the living room stereo and sing along with them on her karaoke machine.

Spears and Aguilera have also given new glamour to the belly button, which certainly adds to their popularity with my kids. We've come a long way from the "I Dream of Jeannie" days when a woman's belly button couldn't be shown on network television.

Bailey loves to show off her bellybutton too. At home, she routinely dons her green and yellow, two-piece bathing suit.

She's only 5, but her fashion sense puts her at odds with Mr. Blackwell. He would be appalled to see Bailey in her swimming suit, topped off by a pink ballet skirt or wearing a shirt on her head.

I'm sure such dress-up daring do would get Bailey a spot on Blackwell's list, right after radio shrink Dr. Laura Schlessinger. "When it comes down to fashion horror, no one does it better than Dr. Laura. A turtlenecked terror," Blackwell says.

Bailey isn't fond of turtlenecks, but still has a tendency to wear her food, which also wouldn't rate well with Blackwell.

It's amazing how Bailey can turn an ordinary shirt into a canvas for spaghetti sauce. We always know what Bailey had for lunch.

While Bailey likes to parade around in her swimming suit, she does wear other clothes.

She's proud of her new winter coat, trimmed in faux black fur. It even has a hat to match. Joni says the color of the coat is pistachio, which seems a little nutty to me. As any guy knows, this coat is green.

As parents, we have to maintain some fashion control otherwise our kids might wind up pop idols and make millions of dollars and end up on Blackwell's blacklist.

Becca wants a pair of white go-go boots for her birthday. Joni has put her foot down, insisting that won't happen.

Of course, you don't have to wear Madonna rejects to get on the worst-dressed list. Florida Secretary of State Katherine Harris also made the list, coming in at number 10 for her makeup.

"The pretty, brassy lassie from Tallahassee needs cosmetic direction," Blackwell says.

The same can be said for Becca and Bailey, who have been known to get into Joni's makeup. But then they have an excuse, they're still just kids. They haven't a clue about hanging chads or the wrong shade of lipstick.

They do have a clue, however, when it comes to dress-up clothes. They have a whole trunk of dress-up clothes that get a constant workout.

Even without glass slippers, both girls can dress like Cinderella. But sometimes it's a tight fit, something Spears and Aguilera would understand.