MARK MY WORD: MEN AVOID THE STRESS BY LEAVING HOLIDAY SHOPPING TO FAIRER SEX

If you're like most married men, holiday shopping is a breeze.

We leave it to our wives to battle the hordes of fellow shoppers for those hard-to-find toys like Furby and Barney Banjo.

Men, who would think nothing of wrestling a bear or at least rewiring the hot tub, cringe at the very thought of hitting the stores at this time of year.

Like many other diehard shoppers, my wife was up at the crack of dawn so she could buy a few Christmas presents when the holiday shopping crush commenced the day after Thanksgiving.

"You snooze, you loose" is the rule when it comes to holiday shopping, veteran gift buyers will tell you.

Men would just as soon settle for a snooze or a sporting event.

Up until now, wives may have thought their husbands were just trying to duck the hard work of holiday shopping by camping out on the golf course.

But thanks to a recent survey in Britain, we know that's not the case. We're just trying to stay healthy.

Retail therapy may be soothing for women, but it's a major health hazard for men, according to a survey commissioned by the Brent Cross Shopping Centre in North London.

Researchers have discovered that men's heart rates rise and stress levels soar as they venture into stores.

Without a detailed map, we're lost in shopping aisles.

Doctors monitored 16 men and 19 women between the ages of 22 and 79 as they went shopping alone, in couples or with their children on London's Oxford Street.

Wrist watches recorded their heart rates, their saliva was analyzed and they wore special glasses to record a visual diary of the shopping scene.

The researchers also said that most women regretted taking their husbands along on the holiday shopping trip.

The women recorded lower stress levels shopping with their children rather than their husbands.

It's not that we can't shop. We know how to do important holiday chores like buying Christmas lights and stringing them all over our houses and yards.

Turning one's home into an airport runway is a seasonal task that many men welcome. For some, it's almost a rite of passage.

Chopping down the perfect tree is another task we love, particularly if it gives us an excuse to steer clear of the demolition derby atmosphere of holiday shopping.

Some men would rather climb Mount Everest than step into a toy store at Christmastime.

The London survey may give us another reason to stay home for the holidays. Of course, I doubt that will do anything to improve our reputation with the fairer sex, but it's worth a try.

I'm certain that if Santa had to do all the holiday shopping, there would be few presents under the tree.

No doubt, the real hero is Mrs. Claus. Who else could get all that holiday shopping done and still have time to feed all those elves?

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.