MARK MY WORD: JUNK DRAWER STUFF WON'T BECOME ANOTHER MAN'S TREASURE

One man's junk is another man's treasure, they say. But I don't think there's anything in our junk drawer at home that will ever rate as treasure.

An antique expert in Boston recently advised Americans to "just take a bunch of junk and throw it in a drawer and let fate decide." Well, if that's the case, I'm afraid fate has dealt us a bad hand.

A recent journey through our kitchen junk drawer uncovered a ton of pens, mostly black in color; picture hangers, assorted plastic key chains, gum wrappers, Magic markers, pictures of the kids, a tiny plastic horse, hair bows, a free calculator from a fast-food restaurant and other stuff.

It's not Antiques Roadshow material. But at least we do have a bona fide junk drawer.

Some people have a drawer they call a junk drawer. It's where they keep the telephone book, matches and a pair of scissors.

That's not a junk drawer. A real junk drawer has to have plenty of stuff crammed in, in no particular order. That way you can rummage through the stuff.

Of course, that doesn't ensure that you will find something valuable.

Antique experts say we should forget all that Pokemon stuff and Beanie Babies ever ending up as antiques. Items labeled "collectible" and "limited edition" lead people to collect them en masse, they say.

Fortunately for us, we've moved beyond the Beanie Baby stage. But we still have plenty of Barbie dolls residing in our home in various states of undress.

Four-year-old Bailey still brings home pebbles, which end up congregating on the floor. Both Bailey and 7-year-old Becca collect their share of shoes, some of them worn, high-heeled ones given to us by a neighbor for use when the kids play dress-up.

Experts say we should stock a few icons in our homes that speak to their time or evoke an era. Refrigerators in avocado green speak to an era, but I don't think it's what the antique experts are looking for.

We're also advised to keep a lid on it. That doesn't mean we can't talk about antique stuff, we just need to keep our future antiques in the box. Stuff that hasn't been opened is more valuable, they say.

That's highly unlikely in our home or any home with children. What's the point of having stuff if you can't take it out of the box? Besides, kids love to rip open boxes. They see little value in keeping things all boxed up.

We have plenty of computer games, but I don't see any of them ending up on the antique shelf in our lifetime.

Experts say snowboards might be highly collectible. Great. We don't own a snowboard. We don't have any Vietnam War protest memorabilia either. Had I only known I could have joined the anti-war movement and become rich with memorabilia, which years later I would have sold for a ton of money.

We also don't have any first-of-their-kind computers unless you count that toy abacus of mine.

There's also cowboy star stuff such as Gene Autry dolls. I don't have any of them.

Some people collect concert ticket stubs. Ours get pitched. I couldn't even find a single stub in our junk drawer the other day.

For those who want to start collecting now, there are always millennium toilet paper holders. But one appraiser says they won't be valuable until the next millennium.

By that time, even Barney might be an antique.

Of course, our Barney stuff won't be valuable. It long ago came out of the box.

But our best stuff is our kids' artwork. You can regularly find it hanging on our refrigerator door or decorating the kitchen table. You won't find it in our junk drawer.

It won't make an expert's antique list. But for us, it is highly collectible.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.