MARK MY WORD: IT'S TOOL TIME FOR TRADING CARDS

Forget Roger Maris and all those other baseball greats whose shining faces grace America's baseball cards.

Move over Michael Jordan and all you other athletes whose mugs maintain a prominent place at trading-card shows.

The cards to collect these days are ones featuring the nation's handy dandy shop tools, like the dynamic, 11-piece wrench set and the stellar all-weather worklight.

For the third year in a row, a major retail chain has released a series of tool collector cards.

There are a total of 75 different cards sold in 99-cent foil packs of 12, perfect for those stocking stuffers.

These things are so popular with the "Home Improvement" crowd that 3.6 million of the cards were printed this year, compared to 2.4 million each of the previous two years.

Each pack includes 10 tool cards, one "Great American Home" card and one Bob Vila "wild card" that contains up to 30 percent savings on an assortment of tools and stuff Tim Allen would like.

The front of each card displays a color photo of the featured tool. The backs of the cards contain important stats about the tools, things like construction and mountings. There isn't anything though about home runs.

I know all about this stuff because I've read the press release. The release that reached my desk the other day included a sample card, featuring something called the "Universal Protractor."

The back of the card states: "Ninety-degree angle fits corners for two-way readings."

There is also a statement from some tool buyer who proclaims: "Accurate tools take the guesswork out of construction jobs."

Unless you don't have a clue what to do with the tool. I wasn't even sure what a protractor was. I know I don't have one in my meager toolbox.

I know people who worship at the altar of the table saw. They collect power tools so they can build an exact replica of the Empire State Building or turn their house into a giant theme park.

These people live in their basements surrounded by mountains of sawdust, expensive power tools and a $10 radio that you can't hear over the roar of the equipment.

Personally, I've never been big on power tools. I'm strictly a screwdriver and hammer guy, and I believe in using them sparingly.

My least favorite words are: "Some Assembly Required."

I'm glad my daughter, Becca, likes Barbie dolls. They don't require any assembly.

I've never had a desire to construct a living room or a breakfast nook. Just getting the batteries installed right in a toy train is challenge enough for me.

Still, if you can't afford to give Uncle Herman that car-sized power drill for Christmas, it's at least comforting to know that you can give him the tool cards instead.

Naturally, card collectors will want to do a little trading. "I'll give you my nuclear-powered-grinder card for your table-saw-that-converts-to-a-cement-mixer card."

According to trading card dealers, the collector price of a single 1992 tool card could run up to $2, with the entire set running $80.

For the budget-minded shopper, there's the 1993 collector set in which a card could cost as little as 60 cents.

I'm sure that these tool cards could gain a following at card shows. But I doubt they'll ever replace baseball cards in popularity.

After all, even power tools can't sign autographs.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.