MARK MY WORD: FLUSHING OUT BATHROOM VISITOR TRENDS

Americans are born snoopers in the bathroom.

Snooping in other people's medicine cabinets is a popular pastime, the 1995 Bathroom Tissue Report revealed.

As a serious journalist, I knew this was big news.

According to the national poll, sponsored by Quilted Northern bathroom tissue, two of five Americans (39 percent) confess they peek into medicine chests and bathroom cabinets in the homes they visit. Seventeen percent of them have been caught red-handed.

One-fourth of those surveyed say they have used personal items, such as toothbrushes, combs or make-up without permission.

About 40 percent of men and nearly the same percentage of women play bathroom detective.

The Bathroom Tissue Report asked 1,000 adults, "What is the most unusual thing you've seen in a medicine cabinet?"

Among the responses: an ice pick, toys, underwear, a glass eye, a bagel, a can of beer, a passport, tools and a picture of actor Richard Gere.

Personally, I don't think toys are unusual. My 3-year-old daughter's toys always find their way into the bathroom.

They are everywhere -- in the drawers, on the counter, on the floor and in the tub. Fortunately, however, they aren't in the toilet.

I've also been known to leave a screwdriver or two in the bathroom.

But I've never left a can of beer in the medicine cabinet. Why, that would be rude to leave only one beer. A six-pack would be more hospitable.

As to using other people's toothbrushes, I can't imagine why anyone would want to use my daughter's purple toothbrush with white bunny rabbits all over it.

Our bathroom seems to collect toothbrushes. We have so many, it's hard for me to remember which is mine, except I know it's not the bunny rabbit one.

The survey found that Americans like their bathrooms smoke free, prefer white toilet paper and often find themselves stuck with an empty roll.

A majority of Americans like their toilet lids plain, but 42 percent have a fuzzy lid cover.

That doesn't seem surprising to me. I have relatives who have a toilet paper dispenser that plays Christmas music when you unroll the tissue.

Who needs carolers when you have something like this?

Most Americans use six or more rolls of toilet paper a month.

If you have a young child, the number increases dramatically. My daughter, Becca, used to love to tear off whole rolls of toilet paper.

She's much more frugal now. Of course, sometimes she's too frugal, forgetting to use any toilet paper.

In Becca's case, this trait also applies to Kleenex. After all, why waste a good tissue when your nose is running. That new dress will do just fine.

Sixty-two percent of the respondents in the survey view the bathroom as a great reading room. Maybe if libraries had more toilets, they would be used more.

Dr. Joyce Brothers, that superstar psychologist, says the bathroom is our sanctuary in the home.

Of course, she hasn't been to our home. Becca thinks a closed bathroom door is an invitation to come in and talk to mommy or daddy. To Becca, the bathroom isn't a sanctuary. It's a playground.

And judging by what the tissue report flushed out, plenty of Americans would agree with her.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.