MARK MY WORD: 'FINAL FRONTIER' FOUND BENEATH DAUGHTER'S BED

The final frontier isn't lost in space or buried deep beneath the oceans. It is the carpet under Bailey's bed.

I made that startling discovery just the other morning when I went on a reconnaissance mission to get Bailey dressed.

I got Bailey dressed. Of course, I couldn't find the shoes she wanted.

That's when I made the mistake of looking under her bed. To my surprise, I discovered a hidden world of missing toys, clothes and discarded popcorn.

In the early morning light, I had to use a flashlight to look into that deep, dark world.

Primitive life forms could be living there, I reasoned. I was hesitant to venture into that world so I sent Bailey scurrying under the bed frame in search of her sandals.

She found one. But the other one was nowhere to be seen. We did recover some petrified food, but we left everything else in place.

I wasn't prepared to tackle the bedroom jungle. But like a good explorer, I vowed to return with an army and lay claim to this unseen territory.

Besides, I had to get to work. There's only so much exploring you can do when you're rushing to get ready for work.

As I was preparing to race off to day care with her, she suddenly cried out those fateful words: "Where's Buddy?"

When she says it, it's more a cry than a question.

"I'm going to be late," I advised her. "Can't you take another bear?"

A cry of despair from Bailey brought me back to reality. It was obvious she wasn't going to leave home without Buddy, a stuffed animal and symbol of security that goes everywhere with our 4-year-old.

At that point, I did what every harried dad does. I threw up my hands and charged upstairs like a wounded bull. I searched through the covers on her bed. I looked under the stack of pillows too.

I even looked under the bed, bravely peering into the uncharted maze of stuff covering the carpet. I thought further about exploring the beneath-the-bed world, but rejected the idea. After all, I was wearing a tie. I wasn't dressed for jungle duty.

I turned my attention to another corner of the room. After plowing through a mountain of clothes, I found Buddy. He was sitting silently at the bottom of the pile.

I grabbed Buddy and raced downstairs. I didn't look back. I had had enough of the chaos for one day.

Bailey wasn't content with taking just Buddy to school. She also took her stuffed monkey, hanging its long arms around her neck. Its long tail stretched almost to the floor.

Buddy didn't seem to mind. But then, I reasoned, anything was better than being lost in a pile of clothes.

As for that beneath-the-bed world, I still have yet to tackle it. Bailey would prefer to play with her monkey than go exploring those uncharted waters.

I can't blame her. I'd rather play with the cute monkey too.

But sooner or later, my conscience will get the best of me. I'll go exploring beneath the bed.

On second thought, maybe I'll just use the vacuum.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.