MARK MY WORD: FAMILY SURVIVES 'SURVIVOR' FINALE, CREPE PAPER AND ALL

Joni pinned the cardboard kangaroo to the dining room wall, just part of the many decorations she felt compelled to put up last week in honor of the last episode of "Survivor."

Naturally, we had to have a "Survivor" party. Never mind that we had barely watched the show and knew virtually nothing about all the contestants and their television-charted ordeal in Australia's Outback.

As my wife saw it, the show offered a perfect excuse for a party with friends.

Even our kids loved the idea of green crepe paper streamers and a chocolate dessert called "dirt." It was clearly far better than the bits of rice that the "Survivor" contestants ate.

I confess I wasn't thrilled about a "Survivor" party until I saw a ton of shrimp and other food spread about the dinner table.

I've never been excited about watching grown men and women sweat in the bug-infested Land Down Under. Some people, of course, will do anything for a million dollars.

The great thing about watching the last episode was that you didn't have to worry about all 16 contestants. All but three were booted out of the "tribe" before the final episode.

In the end, Tina Wesson, a 40-year-old nurse and mother of two from Knoxville, Tenn., took home the $1 million, outlasting Colby Donaldson, the 26-year-old custom auto designer from Dallas, Texas.

It's hard not to root for a mom who snacks on cheddar cheese Goldfish crackers and whose favorite flower is a daisy.

Our little group was solidly behind Tina, toasting her with our favorite beverages as our children ran around the family room, occasionally stopping to watch the action.

Occasionally, we'd catch a glimpse of kangaroos hopping around or alligators sliding into the muddy water. At times like that, I perked up. Here was nature at its best. Unfortunately, the show focused on the human contestants.

I couldn't survive "Survivor," not without constant trips upstairs to watch the progress of the St. Louis Blues' playoff hockey game. As it turned out, the Blues survived just fine, moving on to the next round in the quest for the Stanley Cup.

If "Survivor" had had a few roughing penalties, I might have been more interested.

But in my be-a-good-host mood, I did my best to keep focused on Tina and Colby and the jury of their peers that decided their ultimate fate.

As it turned out, most of us in the family room predicted Tina would win.

We even wrote our predictions on pieces of paper and stuffed them into an ice bucket to be opened after the show ended.

As it turned out, I lost. I was disqualified for not writing my name on the piece of paper. It was disappointing. I'd come so far. OK, it was just a short walk downstairs, unless you count all the quick trips upstairs to watch the hockey game.

I'm sure Tina's family's proud of her.

But thankfully, Becca and Bailey could care less about such celebrity status. They're not ready to hop on the bandwagon or even hop like kangaroos.

So far, they seem to be surviving childhood just fine.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.