MARK MY WORD: EASTER MEANS IT'S TIME TO SINK YOUR TEETH INTO SUGARY PEEPS

Two Emory University researchers have been peeping into Peeps, those marshmallow birds that annually flock to our Easter baskets.

Gary Falcon and Jim Zimring wanted to know more about the edible birds. They were surprised to discover that Peeps don't dissolve in water. They finally had to resort to a chemical used to dissolve proteins to wash away the Peeps.

Peeps, they concluded, aren't mostly sugar. They are made of gelatin, sugar and corn syrup. No wonder kids view them as essential Easter food.

The two researchers have continued to study the sweet birds. They froze them in liquid nitrogen. They tested Peeps' reaction to low-pressure environments by putting them in a vacuum. The poor things shriveled up.

These intrepid scientists also tested Peeps in a party environment. They floated a Peep in rubbing alcohol with a lit cigarette in its mouth. The gooey bird ended up charred to death. Peeps just don't make good party animals. They prefer the world of children and Easter baskets.

Peeps have been hiding out in our home for days, just waiting to greet our daughters. For Becca and Bailey, candy is dandy at any age. Of course, they could care less about research. They just want to eat it.

But the Emory guys haven't had their fill of Peeps. They haven't stopped probing Peeps. They want to study the effects of space travel and aging on the Peep population. If John Glenn can do it, why not a Peep?

Perhaps NASA could populate the international space station with Peeps. I'm certain it won't be long until we send Peeps to Mars.

These birds clearly aren't an endangered species. About 2 million Peeps and marshmallow bunnies are born each day at the Just Born factory in Bethlehem, Pa. Americans have an appetite for Peeps, devouring 600 million of the sugary critters during the Easter season.

The factory makes them year-round just so there are enough of these critters to fill all those baskets at Easter time.

The business was started by a Russian immigrant, Samuel Born, who proved that one's adopted homeland could be sweet indeed.

Peeps have been around since 1953. In the early days, it took 27 hours from birth to box. Today, it's down to six minutes. They don't have time to fly away. Two yards after their birth, they travel through a wind tunnel with dyed sugar where they pick up one of five hues -- blue, yellow, pink, white or lavender.

Those who make the Peeps must be horrified that university researchers are conducting experiments on these exceptional animals.

But Falcon and Zimring are proud of their research. They managed to do all this scientific work without a single government grant. They did, however, use a university lab. But then what good are university labs if you can't conduct cutting-edge research on Peeps, one of life's most essential elements?

University guys are good at studying things. Take John Gottman, a University of Washington psychology professor. He didn't study Peeps, he studied marriages.

After 14 years of studying husbands and wives interact in lab settings, he has concluded that the secret to marriage is to like your partner. He's even written a book about his findings, which is certain to help all of those people who married strangers. For the rest of us, however, Gottman's findings are no surprise. We can only hope his work wasn't financed by our tax dollars.

At any rate, if universities have to study things, they'd do well to take a peek at Peeps. You can sink your teeth into that kind of research. On a sugar high, all things are possible.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.