MARK MY WORD: 'DEAD FRED' FINDS HIMSELF AT THE 'CENTRE' OF NATIONAL DEBATE

There's something to be said for "Dead Fred." It's not Whistler's mother, but in Centre College in Danville, Ky., it's just as revered.

Dead Fred, a portrait of a famous former student at the college, is a fixture at the school's football and basketball games. "He always goes to all of the important events on campus," a college spokeswoman says.

Naturally, Dead Fred had a reserved seat at Thursday night's vice presidential debate at the college. Tickets were hard to come by, but not for Dead Fred, the consummate dead head.

There's no word on how he scored the debate, or if he will play a role in the next administration.

You've got to hand it to a college that reveres Dead Fred, the late U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Fred Vinson.

He grew up in jail. His father was a jailer and the family's living quarters adjoined the jail in Louisa, Ky.

Vinson was a good student at Centre College. The PR guys at the school say Vinson could recite the contents of his textbooks word for word.

He graduated in 1909 with the highest grade point average ever achieved at the school up to that time.

All things considered, I'm sure the vice presidential candidates were glad they didn't have to debate Dead Fred, who died in 1953.

Soon after Vinson's death, some of his fraternity brothers decided that a portrait of Dead Fred should always be seated at the school's sporting events. That's because, in life, he always attended the football games at his alma mater. Once a sports fan, always a sports fan.

Personally, I'm glad the school has such a mascot. At most schools, it's the athletes that get all the attention.

Thursday night's vice presidential debate clearly puts Dead Fred in the national spotlight and gives hope to other schools that are so desperately looking for committed alumni.

Before long, I'm sure other schools will be taking portraits out of the closet and installing them in front-row seats at sporting events and major lectures.

This could send higher education to even higher heights.

Southeast Missouri State University shouldn't miss the chance to trot out its own Dead Fred. That large portrait of Louis Houck, the late railroad builder and civic leader in Cape Girardeau, would do just fine.

The portrait is hanging in the University Museum, but it clearly would get more attention if it attended basketball games at the Show Me Center.

It would take a whole row of seats for Houck's huge portrait. But who could deny the great man his proper place in the arena of history, much less a basketball arena.

Of course, all this emphasis on portraits means that famous alumni better be sure they have a good portrait, one that can withstand years of sitting in the stands.

It isn't easy getting respect, particularly for parents. Portrait sitting isn't enough.

Our kids are too busy with life.

The other day, Becca and Bailey put on a show, dancing and tumbling in our living room to the accompaniment of Shania Twain on the stereo.

The kids handed out homemade admission tickets so we could have front-row seats at the performance. Dead Fred wasn't there. Amid all the stage props, there wasn't room for him anyway.

It wasn't a debate, unless you count the artistic differences between our 8-year-old and 4-year -old, but I'm sure Dead Fred would have loved the performance.

After all, he's an accomplished seat sitter. He doesn't snore.

That's good news because a German clinic recently reported that snoring makes you stupid.

The clinic cited a U.S. study that found snorers performed worst in tests of intelligence, reaction speed and visual coordination. Snoring, it seems, kills brain cells.

There's no word on how many politicians suffer from snoring, but many Americans suspect it is on the high side.

So far, there's been no snoring detected in our home, just the sounds of Becca strumming the strings on Joni's old guitar and the Twain CD cranked up to full volume.

It's a little loud at times. But I'm sure it's not enough to wake the dead -- or Fred.