MARK MY WORD: COUGH, SNEEZE, FAMILY COLDS AREN'T A BREEZE

Cough, cough, sneeze, sneeze ... what a relief a Kleenex is.

Coughs, colds, ear infections and a whole host of sinus problems plagued the Bliss household this past week.

I managed to almost lose my voice, youngest daughter Bailey had some sinus stuff and oldest daughter Becca came down with an ear infection.

Only Joni managed to avoid the big, bad bug.

Those germs had a full-scale convention in our home. You know things are bad when you open the fridge and find three different antibiotics lined up on the top shelf.

Grown-ups and kids have different ways of dealing with illness.

For one thing, kids will do almost anything to avoid taking bad-tasting medicine. Adults, on the other hand, welcome all that bad-tasting stuff, figuring that anything that tastes bad has to be good for you.

At 5 years of age, Becca had her own way of dealing with an ear infection.

She kept jumping rope and singing: "Apple sticks make me sick."

At any rate, I didn't even try to give her an apple or a stick all week. I figured she was sick enough already.

Of course, the antibiotic was clearly a big help. It made her well enough to take up jump roping again, which no doubt will put her over the top when it comes to bouncing back from the bug.

Her initial reaction to the ear ache was to wake up screaming in the dead of night. The result was a trip to the emergency room.

One of the rules of life is that children are only allowed to get sick after their regular doctor has gone home for the day, or on weekends or holidays.

Bailey had her share of sinus problems, which earned her the right to take a white liquid that she doesn't like.

Medicines have a way of marching right through children who are 23 months of age, like Bailey. They always come out the other end, which adds to the bottom line when it comes to diaper sales.

Of course, last week was also the week that Bailey decided to give serious consideration to potty training.

She regularly tried to remove her diapers, sending me into a mad dash in which I would scoop her up and rush her into the bathroom, where she would proudly sit on the little potty.

Of course, what she was most proud of was using up a whole lot of toilet paper.

Despite nearly losing my voice, I didn't get much sympathy from Joni. Of course, it's hard to compete with a naked child who is demanding instant potty training.

Still, I've noticed that Joni's friends act the same way when their husbands catch a cold.

Wives routinely complain that their husbands whine too much about all the aches and pains.

Of course, there is a logical reason why we don't get any sympathy. It's called childbirth.

Our bodies didn't have to go through pregnancy. Wives forget about a lot of things over the years, but they don't forget about that.

The best thing for husbands to do is whine to other guys while watching some sporting event.

It makes you feel better. Then you can go home and cough around the house without the need for a woman's sympathy.

If that doesn't help, my advice is to take up jump roping and stay away from apple sticks.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.