MARK MY WORD: A COUCH IS A GREAT LOST-AND-FOUND DEPARTMENT

Couches are a lot like Mary Poppins' magic bag: There is no end of stuff that a couch can hold.

The importance of a couch is overlooked in our society.

We expect a lot out of a piece of furniture. We expect it to be comfy.

It also has to double as a trampoline for children and even, at times, a bed.

But the real value of a couch has nothing to do with sitting down.

A couch's real value is as a lost-and-found department. We would never find our car keys or the TV remote control if we didn't have couches.

I was thinking about all this the other day when I went searching in the crevices of my couch for the missing remote control.

For some reason, we manage to lose the remote control at least once a week. But our vigilant couch always saves the day.

Sure enough, I found the remote control wedged firmly in place in the dark reaches of our couch.

I also found a whole bunch of pens, pencils, toys, socks, and petrified food.

Couches are a lot like Mary Poppins' magic bag: There is no end of stuff that a couch can hold.

And no matter how often you pull stuff out of the couch, more stuff keeps showing up.

You can find everything from your children's clothes to your checkbook in the couch. Keys are a regular visitor to the hiding place.

Even a few tools have found their way into safekeeping in my couch.

Fortunately, I haven't lost my children. But if they were missing, I'm sure I would find them in the couch.

Couches are better at finding things than even the best gumshoe.

Things just seem to gravitate to the recesses of a couch.

Jimmy Hoffa's body probably isn't stuck in concrete; it's buried deep in a couch somewhere.

Whole careers can be lost in couches. Of course, careers can be made there too. Just ask all those Hollywood starlets.

It's no surprise that psychiatrists use couches in their work. People who have lost their minds often find them on a therapist's couch.

Archaeologists know the importance of couches. Whole civilizations can be found among the-centuries-old cushions.

There's probably plenty of lost stuff in the couches of the White House. Where do you think they found all those Whitewater files?

President Abraham Lincoln's famous Gettysburg Address took all of two minutes to deliver. I'm certain he would have given a much longer speech if he hadn't lost the rest of the speech in the White House couch.

The ancient Egyptians considered furniture to be a mark of social rank.

The common people had only one piece of furniture, a three-legged stool. This made it hard to watch television, but it prevented them from becoming couch potatoes or even growing potatoes in their homes.

There are a lot of self-help books out there today. But if you really want to lose yourself, just jump in the couch. That way, you can be sure you'll find yourself.

~Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.