It's wedding season

This month all across our nation brides and bridegrooms will be putting on their best, presenting themselves to each other and expressing a vow that is intended to unite them for life. So much goes into planning and setting up a wedding that, often, preparing and paying for the event overshadows the point of the ceremony: the marriage.

Choosing a spouse is one of the most important decisions anyone will make. Many times our dating relationships and subsequently our marriages are based upon a myth that this other person will complete us. Love stories and movies feed upon this emotion of emptiness with lines such as "You complete me." Sleeping Beauty is awakened by the kiss from Prince Charming, who completes her. Snow White is returned from her deathlike slumber through the completion of a kiss. Love stories are grounded in this romantic fashion that "some day my prince will come" and I will be whole. The reality is that the Lord did not design marriage to complete anyone. The Lord designed marriage between man and woman to complement each other.

In Genesis we read of the creation of the universe and all it contains. Man, while working the bounty of creation, begins to notice something missing. All of creation except for him has a complement. The Lord sees man's concern and speaks some words that change everything, "It is not good for man to be alone; I will make a helper fit for him."

The word that "helper" comes from does not imply the need for a rescuer but for someone who is a corresponding complement in every way. While man was created whole in his being, his complement was missing. The Lord created marriage not to complete all the things that we think we are missing in our lives. He created marriage to draw out the strengths, hopes and dreams implanted in each other.

Looking for another person to complete you will leave you emptier than you are now. In all of our lives we must individually find wholeness in the Lord. All of our relationships then change from fixing the emptiness in our souls to creating a constant safe place that enables each of us to explore the strengths, gifts and dreams that we have been created for.

It's wedding season. Let's build some marriages.

Rob Hurtgen is a husband, father and serves as the associate pastor at the First Baptist Church in Jackson.