Family finds plenty to assemble

It's that time of year again when we get those twinkling lights out of the attic and look for higher utility bills.

It's Christmas, the season of taxes, tinsel and a little eggnog.

We're fallen behind in getting our holiday decorations up this year. But we did manage to put together a new entertainment center. Santa's elves would have been proud.

It came with plenty of instructions, designed to give even the hardiest soul a headache.

How else can you explain why it takes an entire day to put together a single entertainment center? The most advanced military weapon doesn't come with this many instructions.

When you look at entertainment centers in a store, they look relatively easy to assemble. You can't imagine they would take hours and hours to construct, and that's with the instruction booklet and bad diagrams.

If you can't draw, you're a perfect candidate for instruction book illustrator. By the time you figure out your entertainment center shouldn't look like a rocket ship, it's too late.

Our living room television had graced a place of honor on a large, wooden hope chest. But Joni decided it was time to give our TV some class and find suitable shelves for our other electronic equipment. So we went to a discount store and found an entertainment center that we loved.

It has the look of oak. It's not real, but few things are these days. What is real is all the hard work it takes to assemble an entertainment center. Joni and I slaved over the project, turning our living room into a makeshift factory with assorted parts scattered across the carpet.

I let Joni read the directions. She's better at deciphering these instruction books than I am.

I tend to rush into things. I don't like directions. It's probably why I don't make a good navigator on car trips. Like a lot of guys, I hate to ask for help.

Putting together an entertainment center can be like navigating uncharted waters unless you're skilled at following the directions.

Joni managed to do that, putting the screws, nuts and other hardware in proper order. Still, it wasn't easy.

The people who come up with these do-it-yourself projects must have a wicked sense of humor. That's because when you're putting the pieces together, they initially don't look anything like the finished product.

Our entertainment center didn't look remotely like the one on display in the store. At first, it looked more like a torn-apart file cabinet.

Joni assured me that the key to do-it-yourself success is to follow the directions no matter how crazy it may look.

I wasn't convinced at first. I didn't want a bad file cabinet. I wanted an entertainment center.

But gradually the thing started taking shape. It was late at night by the time we finished the project.

Miraculously, it didn't fall apart. Not only that, it actually ended up looking like the display model.

Of course, we didn't get up our Christmas decorations that weekend. But thankfully there's no manual to read before getting out the lights and ornaments. We can just dive right in and set up our artificial Christmas tree. We've done it before and we know it doesn't look anything like an entertainment center.

Mark Bliss is a staff writer for the Southeast Missourian.