Faith is choosing to believe in God

One of the most beautiful turning points in my faith came during my first semester at Truman State University, when I was still terrified that "liberal arts education" was synonymous with "soul corruption" and afraid my faith would be destroyed by countering viewpoints and crazy ideas presented in college classrooms.

I didn't want to lose my faith during college and didn't want to be trapped by the fear of doubting my faith when others stated their conflicting beliefs.

I'm an English major, so my classes deal with the deep questions of life getting tossed in the open and ripped apart, analyzed and reanalyzed. English majors and professors aren't exactly known for being the most conservative people on campus, either, and I didn't want to resort to tuning people out when they spoke because my beliefs felt threatened.

One day in my Early American Literature class that first semester one of my classmates made a comment against God that really bothered me. Walking from class, I was freaking out in prayer to God, so trapped by fear of my own thoughts and my own ability to think. I was so afraid I would think of a doubt that would be insurmountable and cause me to lose my faith. In the middle of the chaos in my mind I felt God ask me, "Do you believe that I'm the truth?"

My answer was yes, and then one of the most freeing things I've ever thought was there on my mind: "Any doubt you bring against me I'll have an answer for. Trust me to be bigger."

I love that God has given us a mind to think with and that he wants us to use it.

I love that he invites our doubts about him and our faith, that he wants them so he can show us what is true.

I love that he sets us free from the fear of thinking "wrong" thoughts, that we can be honest with God in our thoughts and pray through them to let him transform them, to find what he has to teach us through them.

I love that the discomfort that comes from being challenged is given to us to push us further into God, to seek out his truth to know him more fully.

Faith isn't faith when you know something -- that's knowledge. Knowledge is a part of faith and is good and beautiful because it points us to God, propelling us into His arms in our search for wholeness, sense and love. Some things, though, are beyond knowledge. That's where the trust part of faith comes in, knowing that faith is faith when you choose to believe.

Mia Pohlman is a Perryville, Mo., native studying at Truman State University. She loves performing, God and the color purple -- not necessarily in that order.