CAROLINE'S CORNER: MOONLIGHTERS

Radio and TV talk show hosts have been talking recently about how the founding fathers of this country were so smart and insightful. Their reasoning for this opinion is how well the documents they produced during the forming of our country have stood the test of time.

You have to admit their work has significant merit and does deserve considerable praise, but the real concern is what has happened to this gene pool in the following generations.

Just walk out your front door (if you are brave enough) and you will quickly realize that the good ole days aren't here anymore. If you make it back inside and turn on the TV for the evening news, you will find that everyone has rights except the one who just happened to be in the wrong place at the right time.

Giving this some serious thought, which usually gets me into serious trouble, I realized that our founding fathers were doing all their good work while moonlighting. Their real jobs were being "gentlemen farmers" with all the associated trials and tribulations.

I said to myself, "By Jove, I think I've got it - these founding fathers did their volunteer work and then went home and made their living."

After this great revelation, I still had serious doubts about my theory. It seemed there had to be some deep, dark reason for the country to have gone to hell in a hand basket after the great start our forefathers had given it. Then it came to me like a bolt out of the blue - engineers. They did it. They caused all the decay and degradation in our once great country.

How, you may ask, did lowly engineers cause such a change in the direction and moral fiber of such a wonderful country? Quite simply, they invented and manufactured the machinery that allowed the "gentlemen farmers" to become gentlemen.

These gentlemen then decided that they had done such a good job forming and running our government as a sideline job that the sky would be the limit if they pursued those chores full-time. Being gentlemen farmers, they soon realized they needed someone to serve the morning coffee or cappucino, transcribe the many documents and deliver these documents of discreet invitations.

Surely you can see how from this simple beginning the country's government has grown into the behemoth it is today simply because engineers continue to produce items that make our "gentlemen farmers" remain only gentlemen. (The term gentlemen is used very loosely throughout this column.)

Postscript on the movie review I did two weeks ago: It seems the Arkansas MADD organization finally got mad and all local chapters and the state board will be sending unfavorable remarks to our infamous representative. It seems that Missouri Madd should try the same thing for our friend and judge in St. Louis. You don't have to drink cough syrup in Missouri to get in trouble. You can just not be smart enough to know that if you are in the northbound lane of the interstate, you should travel north.