CAROLINE'S CORNER: A YANKEE EXPERIENCES `SOUTHERNESE'

The editor of the Scott County Signal, Jim Obert, just returned from a one-week business trip to Dyersburg, Tenn., where he was treated to a strong dose of southern hospitality and several lessons in speaking Southernese.

"As soon as I crossed the Mississippi River and landed in Dyersburg, I felt like I was in a scene from 'Gone with the Wind,'" Obert said. "I couldn't believe the speech accent was so different only an hour and a half from Cape Girardeau."

You see, I could have warned Obert if he had asked me. I was treated to the same surprises 10 years ago when I moved Up North to Cape Girardeau.

It is all relative. To Obert, who grew up in central Illinois, Dyersburg, Tenn., is in the Deep South. To a resident of the real South, Dyersburg is just barely south enough to be termed southern.

Obert, who was in Dyersburg to help open a newspaper office, was given the task of writing feature articles. Therefore, he had plenty of interaction with the locals.

His trouble began when he was looking for an old mansion near Fowler Street.

"I stopped at the home of a very nice lady and asked her for directions to Fowler Street," Obert explained.

The lovely lady asked, "Faaaaler Street?"

"No, Fowler Street," Obert articulated. "It is spelled F-o-w-l-e-r."

"I know how to spell Faaaaler Street," the lady insisted. "I also know where it is."

Obert found Fowler Street, but he never learned the correct pronunciation. When he told me the story, I understood exactly how the lady pronounced Fowler Street.

Now I see Obert in a different light. He looks at me intently when I speak and often asks me to repeat what I have said. I thought he had a hearing problem. Now I understand that he just has difficulty understanding my words.

I can empathize with the editor. When I first moved to Cape, I experienced the same problems as Obert. I went into a bakery and asked for rolls. It seemed simple enough to me that a bakery would sell rolls. After asking me several times to repeat exactly what I wanted, I spelled r-o-l-l-s.

Of course the bakery had rolls! I'll never understand why they couldn't understand my request. Maybe Obert knows.

Obert assures me that fast food is slower in Dyersburg. I doubt it. I assume they just were unable to understand his order and probably had a meeting in the kitchen to discuss what a man who talked as he did would really like to eat.

Minnie May Marble would like to invite Obert to south Louisiana, where life on the bayou is really in the slow lane and some Cajun dialect is thrown in with the Southernese.

We are going to hide and watch him find a feature article in a land where you can't get there from here and if you could you would not be able to pronounce where you were.