A HARTE APPETITE: THIN IS NOT IN WITH EGGNOG

"You can never be too rich or too thin," admonished Gloria Vanderbilt. While her advice may be valid when applied to people, it is only half right when it comes to eggnog. I've never tasted one that was too rich, but I've had plenty that were too thin.

Thin or thick, eggnog is the ultimate holiday beverage, that is, if you like it. Like that other holiday staple, fruitcake, there is no middle ground. You either love it or you can't stand it.

Evidently, there are still plenty of us who like the stuff because even in this health-conscious time eggnog, a cup of which can contain the average adult's yearly allowance of cholesterol, has maintained its popularity. That doesn't really surprise me, because what's not to like? Typically, eggnog contains milk (or preferably cream), eggs (especially yolks) and sugar, and is often laced with liquor of some kind. Whoever thought of putting all those together in one concoction should have a holiday of his own.

Just who that was is not entirely clear. My well-worn copy of the "Old Mr. Boston Deluxe Official Bartender's Guide" says the drink is definitely American. Seeming to support that contention, "The Dictionary of American Food and Drink" tells us that references to the beverage appeared in print in this country as early as 1775. We know, too, that George Washington was a fan of eggnog and even devised his own recipe for it. Those Mount Vernon Christmas parties must have been lively affairs because his version contained not just whiskey, but rum and sherry as well.

But though the drink we know today may be thoroughly American, its origins can probably be traced to the milk and wine punches that were popular in Europe even before the colonists declared their independence. Most likely, eggnog started out as a blend of Spanish sherry and milk, called "dry sack posset" by the British. The American innovation was to substitute rum for the wine.

The use of rum may have also generated the name of the drink, which may have originally been called "egg and grog," the term "grog" referring to rum. (Actually, the term, from which we get the word "groggy," initially referred to a mixture of rum and water and was named after Sir Edward Vernon, a British admiral and namesake of Washington's Mount Vernon, whose nickname was "Old Grog" because of his penchant for wearing coats made of a heavy material called grogram. Being thrifty, he insisted that his crews dilute their rum rations with water.) It's easy to see how the phrase "egg and grog" may have simply been shortened to eggnog.

On the other hand, eggnog may have derived from the term "noggin," which referred to a small, carved wooden mug used to serve drinks in taverns during the colonial period. Eggnog may have become shorthand for "egg drink in a noggin."

If both accounts have some measure of truth, then perhaps the drink was originally referred to as "egg and grog in a noggin," a description quite likely to be unconsciously abbreviated to the simpler eggnog by anyone who had drunk more than one of them! Whatever the case, the beverage caught on throughout the Americas where it is known as coquito in Puerto Rico, biblia con pisco in Peru and rompope in Mexico. (I've brought back almost as many bottles of the latter from the Mexico City airport as bottles of Kahlua.)

There is, however, at least one other theory about the meaning of the word eggnog. Howard Riedel of the Buffalo News jokingly suggests that nog is the ancient Saxon word for salmonella. He's referring, of course, to the fact that the traditional recipe for eggnog calls for raw eggs, which may contain bacteria which can cause food poisoning. From a purely statistical perspective, the danger is not that great. There's only about a 1-in-10,000 chance that an egg could contain harmful bacteria. But when you realize that each year the United States consumes more than 70 billion eggs, that still leaves plenty of them that could be risky.

When you buy eggnog off the grocer's shelf there is no danger because the FDA requires that commercially produced eggnog be pasteurized. But, alas, the FDA only requires that eggnog contain a minimum of 1% egg yolk solids by weight, so if quality rather than safety and convenience are your primary concern, you'll probably want to make your own. It's the only way to guarantee you'll get the real thing.

So to minimize the danger, make sure you use eggs that aren't past their expiration date and keep them refrigerated at 40 degrees or below. And if you can find them, use pasteurized eggs sold in a carton. (There's actually a new technique on the horizon for pasteurizing eggs in the shell. They're experimenting with it on the East Coast and it should be available nationwide early next year.) Finally, if you follow a recipe that cooks the ingredients, your eggnog should be safe. Unfortunately, adding liquor to eggnog does not kill the bacteria. On the other hand, there is credible evidence that moderate alcohol intake can cut the risk of heart attack by actually raising the level of high density lipoprotein (HDL), the so-called good cholesterol, in the blood, so maybe spiking your eggnog makes it heart-healthy! (Well, that makes as much sense as the grapefruit diet.)

Actually, when it comes to adding liquor to eggnog, I think a little goes a long way. I want to taste the eggnog, not the alcohol. Almost any spirits bourbon, rum, brandy, sherry, ale, even hard cider will work. The Germans, in fact, make a beer eggnog called biersuppe. My personal preference, though, is for amaretto. Some early recipes actually called for milking the cow into the liquor, so it's clear that the combination of eggnog and alcohol has a long history.

Equally long is the historical association of eggnog and the Christmas holidays. So if you want to get into the holiday mood, try some of the following recipes, some of which even use eggnog as a basic ingredient in other foods. And may your holiday be an egg-ceptional one.

Leita Hensley's Boiled Custard

This eggnog is so rich and thick that before you make a batch it's probably advisable to check your health insurance to see if it covers angioplasty. The recipe, from Dr. Leita Hensley, a retired professor at the university, has southern roots. Leita remembers her mother making large batches using an old iron skillet in lieu of a double boiler and her father, not one to worry about gilding the lily, eating it over eggnog ice cream. If you feel you should restrict yourself to just one cup of eggnog this season, this ought to be it.

Ingredients:

8 egg yolks

1/4 cup sugar

1 quart milk

1 pint half and half

1/2 pint whipping cream

1 tablespoon vanilla

Directions:

Scald milk. Meanwhile, beat yolks and 1/4 c. sugar until thick. Blend a little scalded milk into yolk mixture, then return to remaining milk and combine. Add half-and-half and cook in double boiler stirring constantly with wooden spoon until very thick (about 30 minutes). Add whipping cream and vanilla. Cool, stirring occasionally, then cover with plastic wrap and chill overnight until extremely thick. Add liquor at point of serving if desired. Top with nutmeg. Makes 1/2 gallon.

Eggnog Custard Bread Pudding

If you like bread pudding, fruitcake and eggnog, you're sure to love this dessert because it's all three rolled into one. The recipe is from one of my favorite cookbooks, "New Fangled Old-Fashioned Bread Puddings" by Linda Hegeman and Barbara Hayford.

Ingredients:

6 slices (1/3-inch thick) day-old French bread

1/4 cup finely chopped candied fruit

2 cups whipping cream

1/2 cup milk

5 egg yolks

1 egg

1/2 cup sugar

1 teaspoon vanilla

1/2 teaspoon rum extract

1/2 teaspoon brandy extract

1 teaspoon nutmeg, divided

Directions:

Place one bread slice in each of six lightly buttered 5 oz. custard cups. Scatter fruit evenly over top of each. Combine cream and milk and bring almost to boil. Beat together yolks, egg, sugar, extracts and 1/2 of the nutmeg. Gradually add cream mixture, beating continuously until incorporated. Skim and discard foam. Pour mixture evenly over bread slices and sprinkle tops with remaining nutmeg. Place cups in pan and add enough water to come halfway up sides. Bake at 350 degrees for 30-35 minutes or until custard sets. Cool at least 10 minutes before serving.

Eggnog Cheesecake

Think nothing could be richer than eggnog? Think nothing could be richer than cheesecake? Think again. This recipe, from a collection put out by the makers of Philadelphia cream cheese, is a prescription for seasonal overindulgence. But, after all, Christmas comes only once a year.

Ingredients:

2 cups vanilla wafer crumbs

6 tablespoons melted butter

1 teaspoon nutmeg

2 pounds cream cheese

1 cup sugar

3 tablespoons flour

3 tablespoons rum

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 eggs

1 cup whipping cream

4 egg yolks

Directions:

Combine crumbs, butter, and nutmeg and press onto bottom of 9-inch springform pan. Bake at 325 degrees for 10 minutes. Beat cream cheese, flour, rum and vanilla until well combined. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each. Blend in cream and yolks and pour into crust. Bake at 325 degrees for 1 and 1/4 hours. Cool, then chill overnight. Sprinkle with additional nutmeg before serving.

Light Eggnog

Light eggnog surely is an oxymoron. There will never be a low-fat version of the concoction that can compare with the real thing. But this easy recipe is surprisingly good, especially if you add one more ingredient: a pinch of imagination.

Ingredients:

1 quart Land O' Lakes fat-free half-and-half

1 cup Egg Beaters

1/4 cup sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla

1 large box (6 serving size) instant vanilla pudding mix

1/2 teaspoon nutmeg

Directions:

Place all ingredients in a blender and blend until smooth. Chill for several hours. Stir well before serving, sprinkled with nutmeg.

Got a culinary question you'd like to ask or an idea you'd like to see treated in this column? Send your suggestions to A Harte Appetite, c/o The Southeast Missourian, P.O. Box 699, Cape Girardeau, Mo., 63702-0699 or by e-mail to tharte@semovm.semo.edu .