A HARTE APPETITE: BEGGIN' BONES AND OTHER DOGGIE DELICACIES

Pavlov's Beggin' Bones are made from whole wheat flour, quick oats, oil, water and peanut butter.

Golden retriever puppies bred at Creekwood Kennells in Cape Girardeau.

"The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog." Thus argued Senator George G. Vest of Missouri in one of the most famous speeches in American history, delivered in a courtroom in Warrensburg in 1870.

Vest was speaking on behalf of Charles Burden, who was suing his own brother-in-law for shooting and killing Old Drum, Burden's hound dog. He went on to say, "A man's dog stands by him in prosperity and poverty, in health and sickness. He will sleep on the cold ground, where the wintry winds blow, and the snow drives fiercely, if only he may be near his master's side. He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer; he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounter with the roughness of the world. He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince. When all other friends desert, he remains."

When Vest concluded, the jury, wiping tears from their eyes, found in favor of the plaintiff and awarded him more than twice the amount of damages he had sought. And the phrase, "man's best friend" became a part of our lexicon.

If you've never owned a dog, you may find it difficult to appreciate the impact of Vest's testimonial. Cat owners, for example, might think he overstated the case, arguing that cats are smarter than dogs. And it is true, as Jeff Valdez notes, that you can't get eight cats to pull a sled through the snow. Or if you prefer some other kind of pet, as Winston Churchill did, you might likewise think Vest engaged in hyperbole. (Churchill claimed to like pigs. He said, "Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.")

But as the distinguished rhetorical scholar William Norwood Brigance rightly observed, "There is not a living person who has ever owned or loved a dog who cannot at least understand this jury's verdict."

I certainly can. But I must admit I have not always felt this way. I used to look askance at (well, actually I made fun of) those people who seemed to me to have a disproportionate view of the status of their dogs. You know, the kind who signs their dog's name to their Christmas cards and whose automobiles bear bumper stickers saying, "Dog is my co-pilot." "Get a life," I'd think.

Then we got a dog. Now I'm as bad as any of the people I used to laugh at. Now I understand why Ambrose Bierce defined a dog as "a kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship." Now I realize why James Thurber was moved to comment, "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." Now I subscribe to Bark, the so-called dog culture magazine that claims to be the canine equivalent of the New Yorker. And now I'm not surprised that one of the hottest culinary developments popping up around the nation is the bakery that specializes in gourmet treats for dogs.

Leading the way in what the Louisville Courier-Journal calls "gourmutt" bakeries was the Three Dog Bakery in Kansas City, followed quickly on its paws by places like the Bone Appetit Bakery in Galveston, the Bow Wow Bakery in Toronto, The Petlicious Dog Biscuit Bakery in Milwaukee, the Dancing Dog Bakery in Louisville, A-Barkin & A-Bakin in Middletown, Ky., and the appetizingly named, if you're a dog that is, Doggy Doo and Pussy Cats Too in New York City. And here in our own area Deborah Jennings of Jackson has begun baking and marketing all-natural dog treats under the Biscuit Bistro label. They're available at Europa's, the Humane Society, selected veterinarians' offices and by special order at 243-3070. You can sample them, or, rather, your dog can, at Bark in the Park this Saturday at Cape County Park-South.

All of these places cater to the desire of increasing numbers of Americans to pamper their dogs and treat them not like pets but, well, like humans. Today dogs are considered members of the family. Indeed, as advice columnist Dear Abby recently reported, some people are requesting that their dogs be listed in their obituaries. And why not? A survey conducted by the American Animal Hospital Association revealed that 80 percent of those polled said they chose their pets for companionship and nearly 60 percent said that if stranded on a desert island their first choice for company would be their pet. No wonder people spend $9 billion worldwide to feed their dogs, a third more than they spend for baby food. Recognizing this trend, Mark Beckloff, co-founder of the Three Dog Bakery, recently told USA Today, "People want to show their dogs just how much they love them, and we help them do that."

It's paying off. In the last five years Beckloff experienced 20,000 percent growth.

Moreover, gourmet dog food is not the only way owners are indulging Fido or Spot. Besides treating them to doggy biscotti (given away free at many Starbucks outlets), fire hydrant-shaped cookies, pet-it fours, vanilla woofers, dunkin dog donuts, pup tarts, bow wow brownies, bark-la-va, and snickerpoodles, they're throwing them birthday parties, taking them to canine spas, entering them in doggie fashion shows, arranging formal weddings for them, dressing them up in Halloween costumes, adorning them in clothing that matches their own, booking them in dog bed and breakfasts, and giving them Christmas presents or, in applicable cases, "Just Neutered" gift baskets.

And increasingly, money is no object. For example, people willingly pay as much as a dollar for a single gourmet dog biscuit. (That would be $7 to a dog.)

Offhand, you might question whether a gourmet dog treat is worth the expense. After all, dogs don't ordinarily appear to have discriminating palates. My experience is that they'll eat anything and the worse it smells, the more they like it. This conclusion was borne out recently in a scientific experiment conducted by the Washington Post. The newspaper gathered a group of five dogs and gave them their choice from among the following treats: an old McDonald's hamburger than had been left out in the sun, hunks of Spam, slices of a purchased yuppie-style strawberry and cream cake, Milk-Bone dog biscuits, a freshly soiled Pamper, a plate of cat feces lightly dusted with kitty litter, and a variety of gourmet dog items, including a bone shaped birthday cake.

You guessed it. The winner was Spam.

But does that mean giving gourmet fare to your dog is not worth the bother? Of course not! What better way to repay its love and devotion? Dogs can tell when they're being treated special, even if they're gastronomically impaired. As Ohio veterinarian Dr. Mark Carlson noted in a recent article in the Montreal Gazette, giving a dog treats promotes the bond between the animal and the owner and causes no harm when done in moderation. In fact, he says you can supplement a dog's diet with up to 15 percent treats and not upset nutritional balance.

And if you really want to show your dog how much he or she means to you, why not go a step further and make the treats yourself? Granted, it may take a little extra effort, but if you don't have enough time left to cook for the rest of the family, they can always order out for pizza. Homemade dog treats are bound to make you a howling success in the kitchen with your canine, so try unleashing your cooking talents on the following recipes. What better way, in Shakespeare's words, to let a dog have his day?

Cold Nose Coco Loco Bark Bars

These healthy bars taste doggoned good to pets and even humans might find them fairly tasty. They're great served with a fresh bowl of water during what some gourmutt bakeries call Yappy Hour. The recipe is adapted from the Three Dog Bakery Cookbook.

Ingredients:

7 ounces canned, unsweetened fruit cocktail

3/8 cup honey

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 and 1/8 cups flour

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 cup unsweetened, shredded coconut

1/4 cup chopped walnuts

Combine honey and egg. Drain fruit cocktail and add along with vanilla, mixing thoroughly. Stir together flour and baking soda and add to fruit mixture, stirring well. Pour into 8-inch square greased baking pan, sprinkle with coconut and nuts and bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes. Cool and cut into bars.

Pavlov's Beggin' Bones

This simple recipe is adapted from one given to the Montreal Gazette by Pavlov's Bark Market in Hudson, Ohio. When given a choice between these and store-bought dog biscuits (the Pupsi Challenge), our granddog unhesitatingly opts for these 100 percent of the time.

Ingredients:

3 and 1/2 cups whole wheat flour

2 and 1/2 cups quick oats

3 tablespoons oil

2 cups water

1/2 cup peanut butter

Combine all ingredients and mix until dough is uniform. Roll out dough to 1/4-inch thickness and cut into desired shapes. Bake on greased cookie sheet for 30 minutes at 325 degrees. Reduce heat to 200 degrees and continue baking until biscuits are dry. Cool on racks.

Muttloaf

This recipe is adapted from one of nearly a hundred available on the Doggie Connection Web site at www.doggieconnection.net/recipe. It calls for amaranth, a grain that's cooked like rice and is available in health food stores. You can substitute barley.

Ingredients:

1/2 cup amaranth

1 and 1/2 cups chicken broth

1 and 1/2 pounds ground chicken

1/2 cup cottage cheese

2 eggs

1/2 cup rolled oats

1/4 cup finely chopped carrot

1/4 cup finely chopped spinach

1/4 cup finely chopped zucchini

2 garlic cloves

1 tablespoon oil

Mix amaranth and broth, bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer until done, about 20 minutes (50 minutes if using barley). Let cool. Combine chicken, cottage cheese, carrots, spinach, zucchini and eggs and mix thoroughly. Add amaranth and oil. Place mixture in greased loaf pan and bake 1 hour at 350 degrees.

Listen to A Harte Appetite every Saturday at 11:59 a.m. following "Whad'ya Know" on KRCU, 90.9 on your FM dial. Send suggestions for this column to A Harte Appetite, c/o The Southeast Missourian, P.O. Box 699, Cape Girardeau, Mo., 63702-0699 or by e-mail to tharte@semovm.semo.edu.