YEAR, DECADE, CENTURY, MILLENNIUM: IT'S HERE

This is the editorial that gets written only every thousand years. So it ought to be profound, full of wit, pithy all the while providing a beacon to future generations.

Frankly, though, if we hear "Y2K" one more time, it will be about a zillion times too many.

It is not for editorial writers to decide what has been good or bad about the past century or the past millennium -- or even the last decade. Our sensible readers are certainly competent to judge for themselves. And far be it from the chores of opinionated scriveners to describe the future with any accuracy.

In the event that historians of some future era turn to the pages of this newspaper, let it be recorded that:

* Long before the end of 1999, there was considerable expectation that flipping the calendar from December 1999 to January 2000 would be such a monumental event that the whole world would join in global ecstasy. There has been, as it turns out, so much hype that much of the excitement has fizzled as the year wears down, much like an opened bottle of champagne that has been left forgotten on a pantry shelf.

* In spite of the less-than-ecstatic mood of peoples around the world, there are parties aplenty for those who want to mark the arrival of 2000 in a special way. For the most part, these are revelers who danced and toasted as some other years came and went, years like 1957 and 1975 and 1988. (Note to historians: You will have to divine your own historical perspective of those years.)

* Because we are denizens of a technological age, the arrival of 2000 is a multimedia event. Television, in particular, is ready to watch our noble planet rotate into sunrise. And midnight -- that measurement of time that usually comes when we are asleep -- will be documented and turned into superlative commentary by personalities who, on any normal night, would simply say, "Oh, look at the time. It's getting late."

* There have been enough warnings about potential calamity at the end of this year to fill an ark. Which is exactly what we would have built if we had had a Noah among us. Instead, we first accepted the pronouncements of doom that would be created by a fingernail-sized computer chip. Then we rejected those warnings, because we thought our intellect to be superior to any inanimate object, even one in the shape of a flat pancake that fits in the palm of your hand and contains all the writings of the patriarchs and the prophets and the gospelers and the evangelists.

* In spite of what might best be described as millennial manic depression, a new year ending in three zeroes has given us pause, some of us longer than others, some shorter. It is virtually impossible to change from years than begin with 1 to years that begin with 2 without some reflection on ourselves, our family, our friends, our nation and our world. If we have learned anything from these moments of introspection, let the knowledge be used for actions and thoughts that create good.

* In the end, we are going through our own version of a time warp without guidance from our forebears of a thousand years ago. Most of those relatives possessed neither a calendar nor a way to keep accurate time. And even if they had remembered to record their thoughts, dreams, ambitions and hopes, would they have meant anything to us? And, we safely ask, will these scribblings alter any plans for the big 3000 bash?

* We humans have always tried to learn from experience. And we do so not because we are prodded by dates and atomic clocks. Rather, we are each in our own way navigators on a voyage whose passage is chronicled by time. Which, by the way, is a lot like electricity: It can't be seen but has control of us.

Finally. Is it safe to say it yet? Happy new year!