Wait a minute!

As the hair on top of my head gets thinner and whiter, I'd like to think that I am growing wiser too.

I'm not exactly sure how anyone would measure his own WQ, or wisdom quotient. All I can do is share some of my thoughts (completely at no charge).

1. I have, from time to time, advocated a mandatory minimum wage of $100,000 a year for workers in the 21-to-30-year-old age group.

Why?

Because that's when young men and women are paying off college debts, starting businesses, buying homes, buying flat-screen TVs and having children. That's when you need money, and lots of it. But we've got the system all messed up. We expect the fathers and mothers of our grandchildren to carry all these heavy financial burdens on a shoestring.

There was a time, I suppose, when extended families took care of newlyweds starting families. That was when generous parents and grandparents could also count on receiving lifetime care from their loved ones. This was, obviously, before nursing homes.

Workers under the age of 21 would, under my scheme, be paid nothing -- or 50 cents an hour at the most. Actually, beginning workers should pay for the privilege of having a job where they will learn how to work and obtain the on-the-job skills to succeed. So far, I can't find a single elected official who likes my idea. That's probably because most of them make more than $100,000 and are way over 30.

The minimum wage would drop, under my plan, after age 30 until retirement -- when every American would get $5.15 an hour from the government to cover living expenses and medical care.

2. Obviously, under my Draconian wage system, savings would be a much higher priority for young workers. If they didn't put something aside for their twilight years, they would go bust pretty quickly on $5.15 an hour.

Wait a minute!

The U.S. savings rate is the lowest in the world. It's actually a minus figure. Americans owe more money on credit cards and mortgages than they've socked away in CDs, stocks or retirement plans.

So here's what we do: We give young workers $100,000 a year but take out $50,000 for retirement -- money you can only tap when you're old and poor.

Wait a minute!

We already do that.

I'll have to give this a little more thought.

3. Get plenty of sleep. Only individuals who get at least eight hours of sleep every night should be eligible for the $100,000-a-year minimum wage. I'm sure we could find a way to monitor -- with the strictest privacy safeguards, of course -- what people are doing in their beds eight hours a night.

Wait a minute!

We already can find out anything we want to know about anybody, thanks to the Internet.

So this one should be easy.

4. Eat right. Forget the food pyramid. Forget low-carb. Forget counting calories. Instead, only eat what you would give a human being if you had the divine spark to create it. I'm pretty sure God thought he had sufficient groceries in the Garden of Eden long before Satan came up with melted cheese.

Wait a minute.

A world without pizza? I know. I'm being a little extreme.

5. Speak up. If you have a good idea or an off-the-wall complaint, tell someone. Bottling things up only leads to quadruple-bypass surgery.

R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.