This is what matters

I cannot seem to get away from them. Reminders of the things that matter scream at me from every direction lately, and what matters aren't so much what I find people spending their time on. What matters are the things we often take for granted: the relationships we have, the ones we're working to build and the legacy we want to leave.

Last week, a friend met her half sister for the first time. This came after a long time of research and putting pieces together and reaching out and, finally, a face-to-face encounter. This process and eventual meeting brought not only the two of them together, but other family members as well who took part in the celebration. I met her sibling Sunday and delighted along with them -- sisters who have lived long lives already and yet are now entering a new season. How exciting to start fresh at this season of life! I saw pictures of the visit, as my friend's half sister spent the week on the farm, trying her hand on the tractor, harvesting soybeans, then going in the opposite direction and catching rolls at Lambert's, "Home of Throwed Rolls" -- just getting to know and enjoy each other.

I don't know all they discussed, but I'm quite sure they wasted no time debating the things many of us spend our time going around in circles about. I have a feeling impeachment inquiries, calls for politicians to vacate posts and arguing over candidates weren't on the agenda. In moments like this family experienced, it becomes clear what is priority and what is, well, not.

I am reminded of this a lot lately, particularly as the phone rings often with family on the other end -- more than 1,000 miles away. A loved one who is aging and afraid, medications causing frightening effects and feelings of abandonment take precedence over the latest Trump-Pelosi battle or Democrat debate. When you find your hands tied as you watch these things unfold and see life as you have known it taking a turn, it puts things in perspective. I find while the process of weeding through news stories and staying informed about policies no doubt have relevance, they all pale in comparison to the phone call you receive with that loved one on the other end who is struggling with what has, for her, become a "new normal."

It cannot hold a candle to the importance of people around us who couldn't care less about candidates vying for political power -- some well-meaning, no doubt; others, not so much.

I imagine those reading this have experienced it -- the loss of friends or finding of family or enjoyment of new relationships. You know what it means to be in the moment where it all becomes clear: "This is what matters," and you either begin to wonder about the things you spent so much time on that really amount to very little or you don't wonder about them at all -- because they don't even cross your mind in those moments.

I'm finding the wisest people I know are not those who are engrossed in folly that fades or strangers afar. Rather, they are dealing with real issues that make or break families, dreams they want to see come true, lives they want to touch and legacies they want to leave. This doesn't mean they bury their heads in the sand and turn a blind eye to what's going on in the world; that would be foolish. It just means they don't allow those things going on in the world to become their whole world. They don't even choose "balance"; the scale is always tipped toward what truly matters. And as I hear heartwarming stories of sisters who find each other for the first time and as I live my own story of an auntie who needs love and encouragement, even from a niece 1,000 miles away who feels the distance is too long and her reach too short, what that is becomes that much more clear.

What about you?

Adrienne Ross is owner of Adrienne Ross Communications and a former Southeast Missourian editorial board member.