MISSOURIANA

Saddam Hussein says he's winning the war. Like Connie Hendron won the state auditor's race

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Americans are hopping mad about those fourth quarter record-high petroleum profits. If we were Exxon, Amoco, Shell and Texaco, we'd have a little oil to pour on troubled waters

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Missouri's state spending will increase 12 percent next year but most departments won't get any increase in their budgets. Is someone in Jefferson City bailing out the savings and loans and not elling us?

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If you think your job is tough, consider the poor speech writer who had to list the accomplishments of Mike Dukakis as he left the governor's office.

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Those Scud missiles that Iraq is using remind us of politicians. They're not ver reliable, they're inaccurate, they tend to go off on wild tangents and they make a lot of noise.