MISSOURIANA

Now that the Russians have ended the one-party system in their country, maybe there's even hope for the Democrats over here.

---

A St. Louis police official said the crime wave there has turned the corner and just when he did, somebody mugged him.

---

President Bush says the recession is behind us, with only a few glitches still remaining, like unemployment, lagging industrial production, the trade deficit, sluggish consumer buying and higher budget deficits.

---

Missouri's public schools are in such bad financial condition that the three R's now mean reduce, regress and refinance.

---

The United States may be the only country in the world that honors citizens by naming them to the Supreme Court and then spends the rest of the time attempting to ruin their reputations before they can take office.

---

The way to qualify as a "Fortune 500" company these days is to have 500 bucks in the bank.

---

One Missouri congressman has told constituents he's starring in a new foreign TV show called "Bouncing Czechs."