MISSOURIANA

The secret of reforming America's welfare system is creating temporary jobs that turn into high-paying, permanent ones. Like Kenneth Starr's.

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If viewers didn't have those early-program warm-up jokes by Jay Leno and David Letterman, how would they ever know what's going on in Washington?

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A Missouri legislator wants to move state agencies out of Jefferson City and relocate them throughout the state. His plan started becoming reality when federal judges moved the state treasury to St. Louis and Kansas City schools.

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Missourians are about to experience a miracle moment in the history of politics. Legislators not only have rejected pay raises for themselves, they are preparing to vote tax cuts for their constituents.

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President Clinton says most fourth graders can't read. Maybe so, but they know better than to invite strangers to spend the night in the guest bedroom.

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St. Louis' declining downtown problem is getting worse with rumors that employees in the mayor's office are circulating petitions to get City Hall moved to Clayton.

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Latest statistics show a dramatic drop in crime in New York City, but no one should be complacent until there's a reduction in the felonious $5 charge for a cup of coffee.

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Missouri is spending even more millions to build new prisons in an effort to save taxpayers the high cost of crime. With logic like that, it's hard to distinguish between the politicians and the comedians.

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Buying a share of the Brooklyn Bridge used to be the ultimate bad business decision. Today it's buying property in downtown St. Louis.

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The problem with a rare University of Missouri basketball victory over the Kansas Jayhawks is there's always another team to play. And lose to.

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Officials at the Missouri Department of Transportation warn they only have half enough money to finance new projects. Looks like motorists can either expect to get halfway to their destinations or learn to drive on single-lane roads.

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The reason some politicians are called lame ducks is because many of them become injured dodging controversial issues.