MISSOURI WATCH: IS THERE LIFE AFTER O.J.? FAREWELL TO MARCIA, LANCE

Virtually oblivious to the dangers that lie just ahead, America is lurching forward to a day that will go down in infamy: The Day America Becomes Simpson-Impaired.

Yes, it seems unthinkable, but the end is in sight. Almost. There will come a time, heaven only knows when, that our nation, yea, the world, will be deprived of its daily fix of what has been called, without the slightest trace of shame, The Trial of the Century.

Can we survive? Can we tolerate no longer witnessing the televised brilliance of sweet Johnnie Cochran or lovable Marcia Clark? And what of that stalwart on the bench, the bearded little Judge Ito? I'm beginning to miss him at this moment, even as a I seek to ingrain his image to recall forever.

What will happen to all those people who have played such a role in our lives, becoming as familiar to us as Ross Perot's dear, sweet crazy aunt in the basement? Can Kato Kaelin find a real job or will he simply drift from one to another, and where can he place his meager belongings so that he will again feel at home? Can Mark Fuhrman find as many bigots in his new residence as he found in the cosmopolitan setting of Hollywood and Vine? Will F. Lee Bailey continue his long climb to sobriety or will he slip back, now that he no longer strikes singular but brilliant poses before the courtroom cameras?

These questions must gnaw at your soul the way they do mine. Hey, these are familiar names, familiar faces, familiar personalities who have captured not only our attention but our love and/or scorn. They are family or we could not have embraced them so warmly and watched their every move on the TV screens in our homes, our offices and our neighborhood bars.

To say that we will miss Marcia and Ito and Mark and Kato is only a small portion of the company we will soon be forced to abandon. There have been scores of experts whose comments have helped us understand such legal intricacies as stab wounds and leather gloves, and we have relied on these experts to get us through a trial that is now older than at least three percent of the population. Their guidance, always done in the simplest terms so that we in the vast unschooled audience could comprehend it all, has been like a beacon's light cutting through the pitch darkness of ignorance. How can we face future trials without their helpful information that comes, we know, from only the brightest legal minds among us.

Must we give up all this---and O.J. too? What is to become of an America whose productivity rate has fallen steadily during the past year as a result of watching him sit, not unlike Buddha, at the defense table? We have watched him for days on end staring into space, wondering what tortures were crowding into his mind, and marveled at how any human could withstand such indignities, such wanton charges of bestiality and criminality. He has been an inspiration to all of us, and we have grown from the experience of observing him, even as we realized we would never truly know him.

Now America faces the awful truth: the Trial of the Century is becoming history. The brilliant jurisprudence has been played out before our very eyes, and now we realize we shall never again witness the inspired greatness of million-dollar lawyers as they struggled against the tyranny of merciless but equally inspired prosecutors.

The only consolation in all this leave-taking is that it will, somehow, not be totally finished. Is there a remote hope that we can witness it all again, perhaps in a different form and forum? Do we dare hope that from this shining year of legal genius will emerge an encore? Oh, to see those brilliant defense lawyers rise once again in defense of their martyred client is to send shivers up and down the collective spines of all true Americans. To see lawyers from both sides once again do a side bar with the Incomparable Ito is to give us all new hope that our journey is not, at last, through .

Perhaps the genius of the Walt Disney Corporation can be harnessed to bring it to us once again, perhaps in cartoon form or as late-night reruns. Corporate sponsors should leap at a chance to replace Nick at Night, Unsolved Mysteries, Cops and Murder She Wrote with the lovable cast from the O.J. Show.

Just tell us we don't have to part company with Simpson's Heroes, for we have found nothing to replace them, not even Bill and Hillary and Newt and Rush and Lamar, and all those other lovable entertainers who visit us day in and day out. For they are what America is all about. Reminding us constantly to give thanks for our colorless but comfortable, anonymous but responsible lives among a dying breed in the 1990s.

To refresh a poor memory, who were Nicole and Ron?

~Jack Stapleton of Kennett is the editor of the Missouri News and Editorial Service.