LJLWFDGT

I don't know of anything on this planet that lasts forever, except the common cold and freeloaders.

But here's one thing that has a good start on forever: the first-ever Fifth Annual Louis J. Lorimier World-Famous Downtown Golf Tournament and All-You-Can-Eat Catfish Buffet.

That's right, folks.

The FALJLWFDGTAYCECB is scheduled for June 27 on the two popular downtown golf courses where you can hit a Birdieball and not have to worry about shattering glass.

If you think four years (and five tournaments -- figure it out) isn't such a long time, let me point out a few pertinent facts.

Four years is twice as long as the existence of the World Football League. And four times longer than the life span of a possum.

You might want to remember these little bits. You never know when you might need something clever to say at a party or a dull business meeting.

See. That's what the downtown golf tournament does. It provides a wonderful afternoon of fun and food and fills your mind with information often considered useless. How can you beat that?

In case you've never had the unsurpassed pleasure of participating in any of the previous four downtown golf tournaments, let me quickly fill you in. You play nine holes using one club (five iron or six iron is ideal) up and down the hill at the Common Pleas Courthouse, on city streets, through alleys and along the Mississippi River side of the floodwall. Or through the park at the River Campus. When you're done, your entitled to all the catfish and hush puppies you can eat under the shady trees at the Common Pleas Courthouse.

All told, you will have spent a couple of hours golfing, get to wear a nifty commemorative T-shirt and lie about your score while helping to raise money for the Red House Interpretive Center.

Watch for entry forms in the newspaper. Don't miss this great opportunity. Help make the fifth-annual LJLWFDGT etc. the best ever.

jsullivan@semissourian.com<I>