LETTERS: AT LEAST ONE WON'T CALL DR. LAURA

To the editor:

The current talk-show phenom, Dr. Laura Schlessinger, hosts a weekday talk show, has written a few books and puts out a newsletter and a newspaper column. Her shtick is to always to available to advise people who are in moral quandaries.

When callers reveal they are living with a consort outside the bonds of matrimony, Schlessinger never lets the revelation pass with referring to the arrangement as "shacking up."

Schlessinger condemns as moral transgressions acts that most people would consider to be transgressions against good sense. To combat these moral transgressions, she often urges people to betray confidences and to bear tales, acts which most think actually are moral transgressions.

I have never made a big splash in this world. When I die, my estate will probably rival Gandhi's in its penurious scope. But I will go to my grave with a song on my lips in celebration of the fact that I shall never have queued up with the masochistic losers who, in order to know whether they are doing right or to find out just what right is, resort to exposing themselves to Dr. Laura's mysticism-driven abuse. I am far more likely to consult my rat terriers on superstring theory than I am to consult Dr. Laura on matters of morality.

DONN S. MILLER

Tamms, Ill.