If you want real memories, think beyond roundabouts

I guess you saw the map on the front page of Thursday's newspaper.

Those blue dots are future roundabouts.

There are three of them in the four blocks between William Street and the new stretch of Highway 74 that goes to the new bridge.

Since you're probably reading this early in the morning before all the fuzz is out of your eyes -- maybe even before your first full cup of coffee, you can't see how excited I am.

Whee.

Really. I mean it.

Whee.

The proposed roundabouts would take the place of traffic signals or stop signs on the new stretch of street that would connect bridge traffic to downtown.

This plan is backed by Old Town Cape, the year-old organization whose mission is to jog our memories every time we forget about downtown.

And because downtown merchants are behind the plan, so is Hizzoner.

As you know, I'm a cheerleader for anything the mayor supports.

So I'll say it again:

Whee.

The idea is to develop a memorable entrance to the most historic part of town for folks crossing the new bridge or coming from the interstate.

There are other ways, of course, to make four blocks of new city street memorable.

One would be to put speed bumps every 15 yards or so.

Another would be to build the new street, open it to traffic and then start replacing all the sewer lines under the street -- although this one is pretty much old hat for most of us.

But instead of speed bumps or sewer construction, it looks like we will have roundabouts.

On the positive side, it can be hoped that we learned valuable and important lessons from the city's first roundabout.

Our trainer roundabout.

The one that didn't quite fit.

The one where we had to do some nipping and tucking so full-sized cars could go through it.

While my mother was here for Thanksgiving, we were in the car on William Street when it occurred to me she might like to see our world-famous roundabout for herself.

"Want to see the roundabout?" I asked.

"Sure," she said.

I turned on Silver Springs Road and turned right onto Gordonville Road without stopping, thanks to the roundabout.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"What?"

"What do you think of the roundabout?"

"Where?"

"Right back there."

"Right back there what?"

"The roundabout. We just went through the roundabout."

"Where?"

"That was it."

"That's it?"

"That's it. What do you think?"

"What's all the fuss about?"

I can't wait until we have three roundabouts in a row. Won't that be something?

For a few extra dollars I'll bet Old Town Cape could have come up with another plan, one with an arched entrance at Highway 74 shaped like a paddle wheeler leading to an avenue lined with coconut palm trees and rose hedges along high walls of tri-color murals depicting a settlement of Capaha Indians gathered by the river to greet Marquette and Joliet on their way to found a River Campus for artists who design gilded mirrors and painted horses for giant carousels which dominate every intersection before excited travelers arrive at the official Little Red House Downtown Reception Center operated by volunteer women who drape each visitor with magnolia leis and give anyone from out of town the traditional Cape Girardeau welcome smooch on the forehead along with $10 in bingo chips redeemable at any downtown merchant for a buy-one-get-one-free pass to any nearby all-you-can-eat drive-through buffet decorated year-round with twinkling holiday lights that reflect on the fast-flowing currents of the Mighty Mississippi where a barge is loaded with marimba bands that play Southern Ozark rock favorites from the 1970s.

Now that would be a memorable entrance.

Whee.

R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.