FROM POLITICAL BRIEF TO BOOK REVIEW

I want to take a brief respite from political commentary to tell you about a brand new novel. "The Old Limey" is H.W. (Harry) Crocker III's first stab at fiction, but you would never suspect it from reading it.

At the outset I must issue a disclaimer: I have just completed my book, to be published in March, and Harry was my editor. But he didn't ask me to plug his book. In fact, he didn't even tell me about it.

This is a great book, an absolute gut-buster. The book's lead character, Gen. Nigel Haversham, is a retired British soldier who leaves England for Los Angeles on a mission to rescue his goddaughter who, presumably, has been kidnapped by her drug-dealing scoundrel of a boyfriend, Sean Stalker.

Shortly after arriving in Los Angeles, he acquires two beautiful beach babes as his American guides and all-around assistants. Nigel has an irresistible charm that he misinterprets as sex appeal, but his Don Juan illusions are harmless. He's not really interested in hanky panky anyway. He's on a mission, and he will only use his magnetism if necessary to ensure their commitment to his cause.

Nigel is nothing if not the poster boy for political incorrectness. His interaction with his two Valley-girl deputies produces a hilarious clash of cultures, of which Nigel is acutely aware (and sometimes annoyed), and the girls are mostly oblivious. But I don't mean to imply that Nigel is without his fantasies. In fact, probably the most amusing feature of the book is Nigel's constant daydreaming.

In virtually every conversation in which he engages, there is the outward dialogue and Nigel's simultaneous inner thoughts (many of which involve his previous military campaigns), which rarely bear any resemblance to the words he conveys. These nonstop cerebral tidbits had me laughing so hard in a public place that the proprietor demanded to know what I was reading.

Nigel is a bit like the Pink Panther's Inspector Clouseau. Despite his perpetual screw-ups, he always lands on his feet. No matter what advantages he may have -- from superior armament to the element of surprise -- he invariably manages to bungle things and forfeit his edge. Yet he still manages to prevail in the end. It's a good-over-evil thing, further skewering the pieties of political correctness.

Speaking of political correctness, we conservatives (and we know who we are) are constantly bellyaching about our lack of progress in the ongoing war for our culture. Commentators, such as myself, decry rampant societal decadence. Although such commentary is essential (for my career as a writer), it occurs to me that a more effective way actually to change the culture for the better is for our side to begin producing more "culture" itself. Harry Crocker has done just that, and is therefore deserving of high commendation.

~David Limbaugh of Cape Girardeau is a lawyer, author and columnist.