Fake names: Is anything really the truth any more?

Dear Readers,

As far as I know, I am not acquainted with Zachary Quinto.

That could be because Zachary, or Zach, sometimes uses a fake name.

When Zach went to a coffee shop the other day, he used the name Josh. Some other coffee drinkers saw him do this, and the social media network went crazy.

It doesn't take much to set off social media.

Now, for those of you, like me, who don't know about Zachary Quinto, let me give you a minimum of information, because, quite frankly, even the minimum is more that this tempest in a coffee cup is worth.

Quinto is an actor. He apparently was Spock in a Star Trek movie. I don't know if Zachary Quinto is even his real name. A lot of actors use fake names as their professional personality. Zachary Quinto sounds like it could be made up.

Or not.

But here's the nub: Apparently, Zach didn't want a lot of fuss and bother at the coffee shop. He wanted coffee. To avoid drawing attention to himself, he said his name was Josh.

So Zach quickly discovered that, while using his real/professional name might cause a stir, using a fake name resulted in an even bigger hoopla.

I doubt that any of this would be worth discussing if it weren't for the fact that President Trump has turned fake stuff into Enemy No. 1. Fake news. Fake accusations. Fake sexual liaisons. Fake everything that doesn't fit into the president's view of everything not fake -- which, truth be told, is as definable as a bowl of undercooked tapioca.

In the case of Zachary Quinto, I have a reservoir of sympathy, or empathy. (Once again, your assignment this week is to determine the difference between sympathy and empathy. It will do you good and keep you out of mischief for a while.)

The camaraderie I have with Zach is this: On those rare occasions I go to a coffee shop (I'm a Folgers instant kind of guy) I usually find myself standing in line behind three fellows who all share my name. So when the barista asks for their names and all three of them say "Joe," I am inclined to take steps to avoid what could quickly become mass confusion. I say my name is Lefty. Or Trump. Or just about anything that isn't Joe. When I hear "Lefty" called out, none of the other Joes are confused about whose coffee is ready. I think this is a pretty good system.

But if our president, for some reason, had it in for me and found out Lefty isn't my real name, he would accuse me, on social media, of using a fake name and implying I am a fake, through and through.

The president would be on thin ice, wouldn't he? Mr. Trump has a history of using fake names.

I didn't know that until this business with Stormy Daniels became such a hot topic. If you don't know who Stormy is, you're wasting your time reading this column. Skip straight to the crossword puzzle.

In the nondisclosure agreement signed by Stormy, the one where she promised, in return for $130,000, not to go public with her claims about having a sexual affair with Mr. Trump prior to the 2016 election, the president used the name David Dennison. It's a fake name. It's one Mr. Trump apparently has used before. He also, at various times in his past, used other fake names: John Barron. John Baron. (So close to his young son's real name.) John Miller.

OK. Here we are near the end of this column, and this discussion about the use of fake names needs to make some sort of point. Here it is:

The president of the United States has used fake names on a number of occasions. No one seems to care. Zachary Quinto says "Call me Josh" at a coffee shop, and there are cloudbursts in the ether of our interconnected electronic universe.

Is it just me, or is our focus a wee bit out of kilter?

I'm only asking. As for the answer, I haven't a clue.

Yours truly,

Lefty

Joe Sullivan is the retired editor of the Southeast Missourian.