WHAT'S THAT COMING UP THE STEPS BEHIND US?

Inventory time! What do we have on hand to enter the first year of the last decade of the century? Nine more steps before the year two thousand!

Put that way, it reminds me of a childhood game we used to play. Very simple, it went like this. Someone threatened another for some real or imagined misdemeanor by saying, "Johnny, I'm gonna getcha." A brief pause while you wondered what the penalty would be, then, "Johnny, I'm on the first step." Another pause, then, "Johnny, I'm on the second step," and so on up to the tenth step.

We always knew there would be ten steps, and as the threats mounted, so did the tension. What was the penalty to be? In those simpler days, most often it was to pounce on you, tickle your ribs until exhaustion, give you a Dutch rub or sit on your stomach.

There was no getting away from your tormentor. You might run away and be gone for half a day, hoping the threatening one would forget all about it, but, no, next time he saw you there was the old devilish glint in his eye and the reminder, "Johnny, I'm on the third step."

If we're going to round out the ten-step century in good shape, able to withstand varied attacks on our mental, physical and spiritual dimensions, we'd better examine our tools for living, keeping them well-oiled, sharp-edged and sized to the threatening one in our paths.

You don't need a hammer to kill an ant, and "Oh-my-whatever-is-the-world-coming-to?" won't go anywhere in a war against pornography, child abuse, wife beaters, drugs, big time stealing, little time stealing, racial prejudice I could rattle off a whole alphabetical list of such Johnny-I'm-gonna-getcha threats against society. So, to turn around and face your tormentor, stare him down and push him back before the tenth step is reached we've got to lay out our tools and assess their value.

Mentally, what? Is it easy and tempting to speak loftily and in abstract terms about your tools such as Faulkner's advice, in this case, for young or new writers, "Leave nothing in your workshop except the old truths and verities of the heart love, honor, pity, pride, compassion and sacrifice." Good tools for everyone. And among Norman Vincent Peale's plethora of advice about tools for living is, "Practice enthusiasm and have it. It knocks out fear and worry, works miracles, can remake your life."

Enthusiasm, verities of the heart, compassion, sacrifice? All good, but abstracts. I like something down to earth like George Washington's Rules of Behavior he wrote for himself when he was fifteen years old. Some seem funny to us now but I'm sure he meant to be sharpening his very personal tools to combat anyone who might be threatening him on any step.

In the spelling and capitalization of his time, some of them are: Use no reproachful language against any one, neither Curse nor Revile (nothing abstract there). Sleep not when others Speak. Sit not when others stand. Speak not when you Should hold your Peace. Walk not on when Others Stop (no abstruseness there). What you may Speak in Secret to your Friend deliver not before others (very clear).

Thus we might attempt our own campaign to hone our armor. It might be as simple as this: 1. I will learn to read, or, I will learn to read better. 2. Until I understand an issue, I will not pretend that I do. 3. When I understand an issue I will not hesitate to speak my opinion if asked. 4. If someone stops by and tells me my roof is in bad shape and he'll fix it for one thousand dollars, I'll show him how to back out of my driveway in a hasty manner. 5. I am going to try to stay aware of what is going on in my immediate surroundings, my city, my state, my nation and the world at large so I can keep abreast of just what step the pursuer is on. And so on. Make your own list. Call them resolutions if you want. They are popular this time of the year when inventories are also underway.

REJOICE!