Upset drivers should rely on car-ma

Dear Tom and Ray: Today I was involved in an accident. I was happily cruising along at the speed limit (35 mph), in the right lane, when someone came up behind me. He was clearly upset that I was doing just the speed limit, and he could not stand being unable to get around me because of a line of cars in the other lane. He began to follow me closely. Now, this situation activated some kind of psychological trigger for me, and I responded by tapping my brakes, causing him to swerve into the other lane. He didn't stay there, though. He swerved back into my lane, and followed me even more closely. I responded by applying my brakes gently, and he proceeded to hit my car -- four times before we came to a stop! I got out of the car and started yelling at him, which he reacted to by leaving the scene -- fortunately, after I was able to get his license number. There was no visible damage to my car, but I filed a police report anyway.

Now, legally, I know that the accident is entirely his fault. But ethically, I feel that I could have avoided the accident if I had not reacted in such a rash way. Can you suggest an alternate, less self-destructive but equally satisfying response other than hitting the brakes?

Cliff

Ray: You want something equally as satisfying as having him crash into your car four times and then take off? Well, you could drive into a tree to make him feel bad.

Tom: Unfortunately, the only reasonable thing to do in that situation is ignore the guy.

Ray: That's difficult to do when somebody is being an unmitigated jerk and riding up on your butt like that. But if you're doing the speed limit and driving legally, that's the only good solution.

Tom: Anything else is escalation -- and, as you realized, that makes you equally responsible for the results.

Ray: It's very tempting to "teach the other guy a lesson." But that's not your job. My brother tried that for years. When someone would tailgate him, he'd stop the car in the middle of the road, get out, walk around and ask if there was a problem. After being punched in the nose five or six times, he finally gave up.

Tom: That's what you need to do, too, Cliff. You need to put your faith in karma. Or car-ma, in this case. When something like this happens, remember that people ultimately get what they deserve, even if it isn't at that moment. If you're a nice person, good things will happen to you. If you're a jerk, the police will eventually pull you over, you'll get a $200 ticket and your insurance rates will go up $400 a year.