The right force, you should find

The principal fell asleep at my baccalaureate. This religiously themed service, which has gone into disuse in many school districts, is held before high school graduation. In my case, it was held the night before we got our diplomas. My memory of baccalaureate is that it was pretty boring; it was the highlight of the evening, then, to see our fatigued school leader nodding off in the middle of a local clergyman's address.

When it came my turn to speak at baccalaureate as the featured clergyman many years later, the memory of a somnambulant school principal remained strong. I was determined that no one would nod off during my presentation.

Using Matthew 28:20 as my text ("Remember I am with you always"), I spoke using a prop: a toy light saber from the "Star Wars" movie franchise. Brandishing the toy before these soon-to-be-graduates, I said God could be imagined as the "Force" that was always present with human beings. Although I did not keep a manuscript of my remarks, it seems to me there were some words about not turning to the "dark side." The Star Wars terminology was used a metaphor for Christ. It worked, I think. It seemed to me as if no one was sleeping or even yawning.

Now, it seems, a metaphor is turning into something else in southeastern England. Two brothers from Surrey plan to open a "chapter" of the U.K. Church of the Jedi in April. I'm persuaded this is not a goof or a hoax. According to the BBC, 390,000 people from across England and Wales declared "Jedi" to be their religion in the 2001 census.

What will worship look like in the Church of the Jedi? Sermons will be teaching moments devoted to inculcating meditation techniques. There will also be training in the use of light sabers, which, if memory serves, are fictitious devices. Apparently, the central figure in the Jedi faith is the gnome-like creature Yoda, the character which often puts predicate before subject in sentences. ("Mourn them, do not. Miss them, do not. The shadow of greed, it is.")

Monotheistic religions (Judaism, Christianity, Islam) have a central text from which all preaching derives. The Jedi "faith" uses the movie screenplays as sacred scripture. In checking the official Web site (www.jedichurch.com) there is no official doctrine, though.

The Web site explains the lack of doctrine with this statement: "The Jedi church recognizes that all people have an innate knowledge of what is right and wrong." That's a remarkable statement. Remarkably wrong, I think. In my experience, many people see right and wrong in their own terms. Is there any doubt, for example, that Palestinian Arabs and Israeli Jews believe they are both "right" when it comes to who has claim on Jerusalem? It is precisely because right and wrong are not innately known concepts (but rather seen as situational) that we need to hear and be reminded of timeless truths.

The Jedi "church" is classic New Age philosophy; it is a philosophy which can thrive in a culture (Great Britain) where the church is weak. Oh, and then there is this: The Jedi "faith" is all based on a few MOVIES!

Yes, Virginia, there is a Force -- and that Force has nothing to do with a light saber. So put the toy down and invest in a good Oxford annotated Bible. Just my two cents on a January Saturday.

Jeff Long is pastor of Centenary United Methodist Church in Cape Girardeau. Married with two daughters, he is of Scots and Swedish descent, loves movies and is a lifelong fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers.