SOME TIME-HONORED MISSPELLINGS FOR CHRISTMAS

Americans love holidays, and it is hardly news that our best-loved holiday is Christmas. Often spelled Xmas, Christmas derives from the Greek word Christos; the X is the Greek form in the initial letter of Christ's name.

Actually, Christmas began as "Christes Maesse", literally translated as Christ's Mass. But who needs a spelling lesson on Christmas Eve? Instead, let us feast on some time-honored misspellings connected with the season.

The word "Yule", which refers to the season in general, comes from the Old Norse word "jol", a pagan winter feast. Ancient pagan vocabulary and traditions have contributed widely to celebrations throughout the Christian world. It was the Druids who first brought evergreen trees inside for the winter, to shelter forest spirits and keep Druid families out of harm's way. It was the Druids who collected and sold mistletoe to those who believed it would keep witches away.

Medieval pageantry still highlights our Christmas celebrations, and the British Boar's Head ceremony remains high on our country's list of favorites. To the pagans, the boar was the beast of evil threatening all mankind, and the destruction of the "Heade" was cause for celebration.

In 1988, a Boar's Head Festival was instituted at Concordia College in Ann Arbor, Mich., and a Lutheran minister, Carl Weiser, was invited to attend. Later, this devout man of God described his reaction in Lutheran Witness: "I never felt so close to heaven before."

Here in Cape Girardeau, our Central High Music Department under the able direction of the school's accomplished Judy Williams, presents a Madrigal Festival featuring "Ye Boar's Heade Feaste" every other year or so, and audiences come away with hearts overflowing with the spirit of the season. And the strange spellings printed on the program delight the strictest of English teachers as well as the poor spellers. Joy cometh with learning.

The strange spellings are typical of those that prevailed before English spellings was standardized. The Festival opens with the entrance of "Ye Lordes and Ladyes," "Ye Singers" and "Ye Dancers" and specialty performers. The leading Lorde then "welcums" the guests with prayers and rules of "Etiqwett." Wassail is served, followed by "Grene Sallad" all accompanied by much fanfare on the part of strolling musicians, jugglers, jesters, and other oddballs in the cast.

There is audience participating throughout the Feaste, and with great ceremony Ye Boar's Heade is brought in during the singing of Ye Boar's Head Carol. Soon, diners are feasting on "Ye Heade" (safely severed and cooked), along with such delicacies as Chese and Fruytes, Sweet Botato Pye, Grene Bene Eek Almande, and Flamying Poddying "These beyung ye viands much dsyred in the Syxtenth Centruy of Our Lorde."

Viands such as these are recognizable even today. And just as timely are the "Rules of Curtasye and Etiqwett", a sample of which follows: "Guests myst aboyd quarrelyny and makyng grymaces wyth other guests"; "myst have nales cleane"; "should not pick theyre teeth at the able wyth a knyfe, strawe, or styck"; "myst not wipe theyre greezy fingers in theyre beards"; "myst not lean on the table wyth theyre elbows, or dyp theyre thumbs in theyre drinks"; "myst not soyle the clothe wyth theyre knife, nor rest theyre legs upon the table"; "myst never leave bones on the table allways hyde them under theyre chairs."

More or less as we are advised to do today especially where to hide the bones. Nothing is said about asking for a doggy or people bag for leftovers, though of course only Royalty would have been invited to such an affair in the Syxtenth Centruy, and leftovers would have been reserved for performers.

As for the unfamiliar spellings, experts still haven't made up their minds about the letter y. Sometimes we use it as a vowel, other times as a consonant. When in doubt, ask Pat Sajak. Meanwhile, perhaps this brief peek at the problems confronting lexicographers even today will prevent our being offended by greeting cards with our names and addresses misspelled.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!