Should we complain?

It's been several months ago that Marge and I went out to eat with a group of friends. We ordered our meals as we arrived, so some ordered their meals a good 20 to 30 minutes later than we did. We were almost the first to order. As the meals were delivered to our friends, we noticed that some who arrived last were getting their meals first. When the dust had settled, Marge and I still hadn't received our meals. We mentioned it to our server, and our meals were brought to both of us. Our meals were cold. Ice cold. And even the server said she had wondered whose meal had been sitting back in the kitchen. We didn't complain, but looking back I think we should have. At the time I thought all the kitchen would do is slide our meals in a microwave and, voila, a hot meal. What I wanted was a good meal for the $30-plus meal ticket. I didn't want a nuked meal.

I honestly am hesitant to go back and give them another chance. I don't want a repeat of our last visit. Down through the 30-plus years we have lived here, we have a few places that we have repeatedly gone back to and this was one of those places. They have menu items that we really like, so we really don't even need a menu. We know what we are going to order before we even walk in the front door. We'll go back, but it will be awhile. As I look back on the experience, some of the responsibility was those who waited on us. But also part of the responsibility was not having sufficient staffing. The restaurant knew the group was coming, so it wasn't a surprise.

On the other hand, we were given a gift certificate to a local restaurant. Marge had gone there before, but this was my first time there. From the time we walked in till we got our food, until we left, it was a positive experience. The food was good, but service was super. We'll go back for the food for sure but for the service as well.

All of us have been in this predicament. Sometimes we are on the receiving end and at times we are on the selling side. Several years ago I grew some purple tomatoes, and I had a real time with them. They were really hard to tell when they were ripe. And to even compound the problem their shelf life was next to none. I could pick them one day and they were over ripe the next day. I have carpal tunnel in both of my hands, and it's really hard to tell how soft a tomato is.

I finally quit selling the tomatoes. I couldn't tell if they were under ripe or ripe or over ripe. So to not sell a lousy tomato, we simply didn't sell them anymore. I no longer grow them and have no plans of growing them. I never received any negative comments on the tomatoes, but I'm sure there were individuals who had received bad tomatoes. I really wish those who got bad tomatoes right up front had told me.

But it all boils down to how to give criticism and how to receive criticism as well. Do we take criticism in a good way or do we bristle up and get defensive? Many times we bristle up and don't or won't take the criticism. How do we criticize? Do we criticize with a critical attitude or do we criticize to help the owners or managers to better their business?

A lot of our personal dealing with criticism depends a lot on how we were raised. Were you criticized growing up? How were you criticized? How did you deal with this criticism? I can't remember Mom or Dad ever being critical of me growing up. They probably were but I can't remember it. And if they were critical, it wasn't so offensive that it made an impression on me, so they must have raised me right.

Part of receiving criticism is being able to accept the criticism and acknowledge that we just might have messed up and admit we messed up and apologize and then make it right. So have you ever been wrong? Or maybe you were wrong, but it was "their" fault and not yours? Hate to tell you, there has only been one perfect person who walked this earth, and it wasn't you or me.

If we can't handle criticism, then we most likely need to be extra careful how we dish out criticism. If I owned a business, every person who frequented my business would be given a business card or postcard size info sheet that has a website where you can offer suggestions or criticize or even brag on us. We try to give everyone who gets tomatoes from us a business card, where you can contact us with questions or suggestions or whatever.

When I first started writing this column I'd get suggestions on how to improve my writing skills so as to make this article grammatically correct. I'd get suggestions on how to correct dangling prepositions or double negatives or a bunch of other writing errors. I usually would respond back, and I tried to not be critical. But right from the git-go, I had never planned on writing this column to ever be "grammatically correct." I wanted to write like I'd talk to each and every person. I'm sorry if my writing isn't correct enough for you. Hopefully you can overlook it. Occasionally I fill the pulpit of churches in our area, so the parishioners are familiar with my writing. One gal commented that I preach using stories just like I write for the newspaper.

Don't be afraid to criticize, but do so to correct or improve service or individuals. Criticize with love. Then accept criticism with love and allow it to improve us.

Coffee update

I'm still drinking the Ethiopian Yirga Cheffe coffee that I'd roasted a week ago or so. I sure enjoy it. But I've also been drinking some coffee I'd roasted from Yemen. It sure tastes different. A gal at "Flourish" smelled the ground coffee and immediately said it smelled like chocolate. It does. I hadn't noticed that.