RIVER CITY JOURNAL: SPECIAL REPORT: GOVERNOR SERVES DANDY LUNCH

Whenever you have lunch with the governor -- how do you like that for name-dropping? -- you feel a certain responsibility to issue a report to taxpaying readers. Here goes:

There is no quick or easy way to get to Jefferson City from here. There are a couple of highway improvements worth noting, however. The new interchanges at I-55 and I-270 and at I-270 and I-64 (old U.S. 40) are a huge improvement. It seems OK to mention these in your report about lunch at the governor's house, because you paid for those interchanges. Come to think of it, you paid for lunch too. But more on that in a moment.

Another highway improvement is U.S. 54 from the Festus exit on I-70 to Jefferson City. This is all four-lane highway now, which seems to cut hours off the trip. Actually, it is only minutes, but when you are all excited about what the governor is going to serve for lunch, you get antsy. Anyway, the trip from downtown Cape Girardeau to the wrought-iron gate at the front of the governor's mansion is about three and a half hours. Mostly under the speed limit too.

Which brings up another topic of concern to taxpayers: You are paying for all those highway patrolmen who don't seem to take notice when you go above the speed limit. They didn't seem concerned you were hurrying to eat lunch with the governor. That, of course, was your ace in the hole. If they had stopped you on the highway, you would have said: "Could you please give me an escort? I'm on my way to the governor's house for lunch, and I know Mel wouldn't want me to be late." Best to be on a first-name basis when dealing with the law, don't you think?

For all of you gardeners, the grounds around the governor's mansion are beautifully kept. You paid for that too. It is a lovely setting, both close to the capitol and overlooking the Missouri River. Not much in bloom this time of year, naturally, but you can see where the tulips and daffodils will be pushing up in a few weeks.

All of you who are wondering about the interior of the mansion, it is a fitting place for a governor and his wife to live. The downstairs public area is tastefully done over in old furniture and crinkly wallpaper. OK, there are some shortcomings with this report, but that's about all you know about interior decorating. You also might want to know that the staff at the mansion under the Carnahans is friendlier and more service-oriented than it was under either Gov. Ashcroft or Gov. Bond (just to drop a few more names). And there are more of them. A whole bunch, actually. But they make you feel just like family, even though someone mentioned some of them are prison inmates. You couldn't tell for sure. Most of them reminded you of your very own family.

The meal itself was a repeat of the last time you and Mel broke bread. In addition to the rolls, you had root-cellar soup, sauerbraten, red cabbage, hot German potato salad and peas. Both times you have been to eat lunch with Mel were Wednesdays, so you are supposing that on Thursdays the menu is Italian and on Fridays maybe French or southern or something else. The food is good, so there is no complaint in that department, especially the desserts, on which you happen to be something of an expert. This time you had a choice of bread pudding with whisky sauce or a fruit compote. Guess.

Mrs. Carnahan joined in for lunch. Otherwise, you suppose, she would have had to go upstairs to fix a grilled cheese or something, but she probably likes German food as much as anyone else.

The hospitality gift this time was in a good-sized gold-foil box with a ribbon and everything. Inside was a mug with Mel's name on it. You taxpayers will be happy to know you did not pay for that.

If you are ever in Jefferson City around lunchtime, drop by the mansion and see if you can take potluck. Better still, see if you can get Mel to invite you. He eats lunch every day, according to his staff.

~R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.