RIVER CITY JOURNAL: JUST WHEN YOU'VE GIVEN UP, THERE'S ANOTHER WORTHWHILE PROJECT

* If you thought a downtown golf course was a great idea, and most of you did, just wait till you see what they want to do in Jackson, which doesn't even have three-fourths of a bridge.

Sometimes it's a joy to read the newspaper.

Take last week, for example.

My wife has had to put up with my glum disposition for weeks. It all started when I had to give up my dream -- the downtown golf course -- all because Hizzoner wants to save a piece of the old bridge.

As I have already told you, I'm not going to fight City Hall. The mayor wants everyone to have a rusty reminder of our horse-and-buggy days, and, by golly, I'm going to support him any way I can.

But with no downtown golf course to root for, what is there? Sure, a lot of you have tried to cheer me up by telling me what a great idea it was and how sorry you are. Some of you went so far as telling me you thought one bridge was enough for a town like Cape Girardeau and that one and a half bridges might be just about half a bridge too much.

Thanks so much for trying.

I got a little reprieve from the doldrums when I found out how Scott City folks could rally around when something really important comes down the pike. Or, in this instance, off the interstate.

The outpouring of support and suggestions for the Worst Highway Interchange in Missouri Contest has been personally gratifying. I never knew there were so many things you could do waiting on an exit ramp.

But I was just about to sink into another funk when a headline on Page 1 of this very newspaper caught my eye last week."Lighted nine-hole golf course being proposed at Jackson."There is a God.

Some civic-minded people -- obviously intelligent, thoughtful, future-thinking folks -- want to build Nine Oaks Golf Course on the north side of Jackson.

But the best part is the lights. You would be able to play until midnight a couple of nights a week.

Give these people a medal.

As good as this idea is -- and it is really, really good -- I thinks there's just a teensy bit of wiggle room for improvement.

Or, as they say in the world of marketing: What this needs is an enhancement or two.

First, let me say that I suspected some smart investors from Jackson or Scott City or Fruitland would jump at the chance to fill the void left by the demise of the downtown golf course in Cape Girardeau. That seems to be happening a lot lately. There are even some folks who think that if we're not careful the next big shopping center will go up in Gordonville. Think about that for a while. It's not as far-fetched as it sounds.

Second, let me say I admire people with grand ideas. But I have even more admiration for people who are willing to put their checkbooks on the line.

Knowing there's a lot of financial risk with a lighted golf course for nighttime insomniacs who own golf clubs, I feel it is my bounden duty to share whatever I can to make this thing a big success.

This clean, well-lighted golf course is a good start. But let's not be blinded by the glare.

What about nighttime golf in the winter when the sleet is horizontal and the wind gusts are way up there.

That's where my idea for a dome comes in. Can't you just see it? A domed golf course. They did it in St. Louis for a rotten football team. Where do you think the Rams would be today if all the taxpayers of Missouri hadn't pitched in so willingly and built that domed stadium.

And then there's the question of golf carts. What the country needs is a good lighted golf course protected from the elements where walking is no longer required. With golf carts, you still have to get out to swing your clubs and get back in to drive to the next shot.

In and out. In and out. Do you have any idea of the health risks of all this physical activity when you're supposed to be sleeping.

That's where my idea for the conveyor belt comes in. Can't you just see it? You get on the conveyor belt with your clubs and pretty soon you're at the first tee. After your drive, the conveyor belt takes you down the fairway (this is the best part of nighttime golf under a dome on a conveyor belt: All your shots are guaranteed to be in the fairway) to your next shot.

When you're done, the conveyor belt takes you right into the clubhouse. When you're finished celebrating your best score ever, it takes you right to your car.

See what a good idea these folks in Jackson had.

And this is just the beginning. I'll bet there are plenty more great ideas for the nighttime domed golf course with a conveyor belt. I know I'm going to have some more. I always do.

Bless you, good people of Jackson, for perking me up.

I feel I really have something to be thankful for when we sit down for the turkey feast next week.

As a matter of fact, I've put together a little prayer.

Thank you, God, for people with smartsWho build us golf courses without any carts.

Bless our backswing and make it straight.

And thank you, God, for letting us play late.

Amen.

Isn't is grand to live somewhere that appreciates good ideas.

R. Joe Sullivan is the editor of the Southeast Missourian.