Reject the victim mentality

It saddens me to see so much divisiveness in our country. Much of the division has to do with economic factors as well as immutable traits. As a Christian, I believe God created all men and women in the image of God. Life is not fair, and no one owes us anything. God is the author and giver of life, and we can trust him to meet our needs according to his riches in glory. We have a choice to make. We can choose to be a victim and focus on inequity, or we can focus on the victory we have in Jesus and count our blessings.

Circumstances beyond our control may have resulted in our victimization. Even so, we do not have to be held down by a victim mentality. On her YouTube channel, psychiatrist Tracey Marks discusses five ways to recognize the victim mentality and five solutions:

Here are five ways to recognize it. 1. Most things have a negative tone to them. 2. You ask yourself "why" a lot. 3. You mull over things a lot (this is called ruminating). 4. You do not think very highly of yourself. You are your own worst critic. 5. Your first emotion is anger and you are often resentful of other people's gains.

Here are five solutions to break out of this way of thinking. 1. Build your confidence by creating small achievable goals. 2. Turn your attention to giving to others. This helps you overcome neediness. 3. Make a gratitude list. When you are in victim mode, you focus more on what you do not have. 4. Get closure on your past hurts. 5. Take ownership of your decisions. No one can make you feel a certain way without you allowing it.

I do not know whether Marks is a Christian, but many biblical principles jump out as I think about her advice. One passage of Scripture I often turn to is Romans chapter 8. At the end of the chapter, Christians are encouraged that nothing can take away what is ours in Christ. Consider verses 35-39:

"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? As it is written, 'For your sake we are being killed all the day long; we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.' No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Even if our circumstances are undesirable, we are more than conquerors we are victorious.

Many people are suffering all around the world today. While we complain about things in the United States of America, multitudes are trying to find a way to gain citizenship in our country. Others dream about having the blessings we fail to appreciate.

I like Marks' final solution to overcome a victim mentality, "No one can make you feel a certain way without you allowing it." There are plenty of predators who are making a fortune off their victims. They keep telling people they are being treated unfairly and the only solution is to give these leaders more power and money. There will never be a solution, or such leaders will go out of business.

There will always be people who have more money, success and fame than you do. Someone will always be taller, jump higher, run faster. Many of the people we envy are fighting their own emotional battles. The only person we should compare ourselves to is Jesus. As we imitate him, we become more victorious. Remember, light overcomes darkness.

We would do well to head the words of Ephesians 4:31--32, "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."