Reflections on marriage and singlehood

This past weekend, I had the honor of witnessing the wedding of Courtney, one of my dearest friends and sisters in life, to her groom. It was a beautiful ceremony that gave all of the glory to God and began a marriage that I know will, too.

God wills beautiful, sacramental marriages that are a physical sign of the way God loves the Church here on earth, and this is one of those. During the ceremony, the pastor spoke about the way in which our Jesus is the one perfect love who fulfills us, how he is the first One we are to fall in love and stay in love with, the One we are to be loved perfectly by.

When we allow this to be true in our lives, we free ourselves to accept the reality that the person we are married to will fail us and that we will fail them, that they won't complete or fulfill us and that we won't do that for them, either. When we go into a marriage realizing this, it frees us to truly love the other person and to truly be loved by them. Then we can begin to do the work of helping each other be refined as we live toward the common goal of Heaven.

This truth of Jesus being our first and only perfect love is a beautiful and freeing reminder for those living the single vocation, too. Neither marriage nor singlehood is a higher calling than the other because we are already complete and whole in Jesus in both ways of living. Jesus wants us and loves us for who we are, as we are, with or without another person in the equation.

During the wedding weekend, I also got to spend time with my dear friend and sister Emily, whom I learn so much from. She makes a gift of self to God always, and because of that, to all who are around her, as well, giving her time to work for others or to simply be with them, enjoying life, laughter and good conversation. She is open to God, open to others, open to receive the gifts being poured into and around her.

She made a comment while we were talking that she is not the one doing the tethering of her soul to God; that is our God. It is our God who holds us to God's self, never letting us go. In whatever vocation we live, we can rest in that grace.

The Jesuit priest Pedro Arrupe wrote, "Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the mornings, what you will do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart and what amazes you with joy and gratitude. Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."

Let us fall in love with the One who fell in love with us before the world began. And let us live fully into the reality of who we are, animated and assured by this love.