Rediscovering the thrill of the stage

I forgot how much I love performing on the stage.

During high school I was involved in choir, band and drama, where the goal was to work hard to make something come alive for an audience. At Truman, though, schoolwork is more intense so I haven't been able to keep up with all of these activities. I didn't realize how much I missed the journey from the first rehearsal to the final performance until this past weekend when I got to perform onstage again in Truman's dance recital.

I decided to take a lyrical dance class this semester, even though I had never taken lyrical dance before.

I had taken ballet and jazz dance classes a few years ago, so I figured I wouldn't be at a total loss of how to dance. When we began the choreography for our recital dance, though, I saw how beautiful the other girls in my class danced and started thinking there was no way I could ever dance as well as them. After all, some of them had been dancing (probably, I thought) since before they could walk. I could barely even remember the choreography from week to week.

During rehearsal one day, our choreographer asked us why we would ever do anything less than the best that we could be. That moment struck me: I might not be the best dancer in the class, but comparing myself to the other dancers was only holding me back. So I went to all of the extra rehearsals I could. Through the sweat and bruises I not only learned the dance steps but began to tell a story through the dance.

As I stood on the stage at the recital waiting for the music to start I realized how much I missed the moment before the lights come up, when I still don't know if I'm going to fail miserably or outperform even my best rehearsal. I missed feeling my heart pounding in my chest, missed my silent prayer before the first rehearsed words or movements escape my body. I missed becoming consumed in the role I'm playing, missed showing strangers my emotions as well as knowing my family was sitting somewhere in the sea of dark figures. I missed the easy backstage camaraderie with the other people in the show. Mainly though, I missed the part of myself that loves the challenge, excitement and unpredictability of being onstage.

Freshman year of college isn't just filled with firsts; it's also filled with rediscoveries.

Mia Pohlman recently graduated from Perryville High School, where she wrote a monthly column about being a high school senior. She will continue her column through her first year at Truman State University.